Heaven's in Your Eyes
by ediariesx
Summary: It's been almost 5 years since Bella left with Edward. Jacob has been raising his son alone and Bella found that life as a Cullen was not paradise. What happens when she returns? {post BD/AU} Jacob & Bella.
1. Chapter 1

Preface

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><p>Jacob brushed his hair out of his eyes in annoyance. It was getting long again and he was really going to have to cut it. He slid out from underneath the car when he heard the shrill voice of Hadley. He was having a shitty week already, he really didn't need to deal with her right now.<p>

'Miss, you're not allowed back here' John said to her angrily. Jacob stood up, brushing the grease from his hands onto his jeans and held his hand up to his boss.

'It's okay John' he told him. John looked annoyed but nodded once and walked away. Jacob was his best employee at the shop and he trusted him with things. Everything would be alright. They had an easy alliance. Hadley stalked forward and glared at Jacob, her hands were on her hips and she looked pissed. Really pissed. Jacob frowned at the sight and looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to say something.

'I'm pregnant' she blurted. 'You got me pregnant.'

Jacob heard the words come out of her over done pouty pink lips but his brain couldn't register or process the meaning behind them. He stared at her, surely thinking she was making a joke. Then again, she didn't make jokes very often and the longer he looked at her the more he realised that she might actually be serious.

'Well say something!' She shouted. Jacob looked around the room and found that Quil and Embry seemed to have suddenly disappeared. Anger rippled through him as he finally gained the ability to think and speak. How dare she come to his workplace and drop this bombshell on him in front of everybody?

'What the hell do you think you're doing, coming in here to tell me something like this?' he seethed

'What did you expect? Did you expect me to call you and I'd announce the news of our love child over dinner and wine?' She spat it sarcastically and Jacob could almost taste the venom behind her words. His body started trembling and he had to close his eyes and breathe in and out deeply to stop from phasing. This woman…she couldn't be carrying his child. He didn't love her. Actually, he kind of hated her. He cursed himself for being so careless and stupid to allow this to happen. It was all _her _fault…if she hadn't left with that fucking leech- he snapped out of it and tried to concentrate. _Focus on the present _he chanted to himself. It had been over a year and he still couldn't get her out of his head.

'What do you want me to do?' he finally said

'I don't want you to do anything Jacob I just came to tell you. I'm leaving you, we've been too distant for too long now. Actually, there was never anything really there. I also wanted to tell you that I'm not keeping it, I'm getting an abortion.'

He didn't hear anything else except the word 'abortion.' It echoed around his head and he almost felt faint. The word didn't even exist in his world. Nothing was ever bad enough to require _killing_ a baby. And he'd be damned if he was going to let this hateful woman murder his child.

'No you're not' he thundered 'you're not going to kill my baby'

'_Your _baby?' she laughed bitterly. 'The last time I checked it was growing inside of _my_ body. You can't stop me Jacob, I don't want it. I'm 18 years old, I want to go to college in LA. If you think I'm going to be stuck at home raising an unwanted mistake of a child you have another thing coming.'

Jacob knew his anger was not going to win her over or persuade her to keep the baby and he was frantic. His mind grabbed for ideas and he spat out the first one he could think of.

'You don't have to look after it. I will. You can go to LA or wherever it is and leave it with me' he said hurriedly before she walked out of the door. The full force of his decision would come crashing down on him later but right now he couldn't bring himself to care. She couldn't get rid of his child. Her brown eyes bore into his, confusion and contemplation dancing over her face.

'Why would you want to do that?' She asked

'What does that matter?' he spat 'just…don't get an abortion. Have the baby and I will raise it. You can go wherever the hell you want.'

'How do I know you won't just abandon your plans as soon as it's born?' she asked seriously

He stalked closer to her until he was right in front of her, towering over her small frame. She looked a little intimidated but his senses picked up her racing heartbeat and…arousal at him being so close to her. She sickened him, to the very core. His looks were all she ever wanted him for anyway, she never cared about him at all. He realised that now.

'I would never abandon my child' he said dangerously. 'When he's born, you can leave and I never want to see you again.'

There was a gleam in her eyes as she looked at him. Right now, he knew she held power over him and he couldn't stand it. _He _was alpha, _he _was in charge.

'I'll keep it. But don't come crying to me when you can't afford to take care of it. I don't want anything to do with you or the baby ever again when I leave.'

She gave him a lingering stare before turning on her heels. At the door she turned back around and looked at him.

'If you're not there waiting at the hospital the very day it's born, it's been put up for adoption and you'll never see it again.' With that she walked away and Jacob was left numb.

.

.

.

_8 months later_

Jacob stood in the corner of the room at Forks hospital carrying a blanket and a car seat. Hadley had given birth a few hours ago and his son was ready to go home now.

'Are you sure you don't want to see your son?' the kind midwife asked the pretty brunette who lay in the bed.

'He's not my son' she spat venomously. In the months during her pregnancy, she had grown even more hateful towards her unborn child. Pregnancy was a bitch, she grew fat and moody and she couldn't for the life of her remember why she'd agreed to keep this baby. Her mother sat beside her, pleading with her to reconsider but it was too late. Hadley's mind was set. Tomorrow, she was on the first plane to LA and she wouldn't think twice to look back. Jacob had made her sign papers in court, saying that she fully agreed to give sole custody to him and she'd gladly complied. He didn't fully trust that she wouldn't come back to try and take him away in a few years. He wouldn't have that. This baby was _his_.

The midwife brought the baby over to Jacob and he held out his hands to collect his son and wrap him in a blanket. The raw reality of everything that was about to happen came crashing down on him in full force and he was scared. He looked down into the sleepy deep brown eyes of his son and was overcome with emotion. The baby looked exactly like him from the black hair to the curve of his mouth. He was a few shades lighter than Jacob himself but he was perfect. Without even looking back, Jacob strode out of the hospital. Ready for his new life to begin.


	2. Chapter 2: When Reality is the Nightmare

Chapter 1: When Reality Is the Nightmare

'_All this time spent in vain, wasted years wasted gain, all is lost hope remains, and this wars not over' – Trading Yesterday/The Age of Information: Shattered._

Bella got into her dad's police cruiser as he picked her up from Seattle airport. He had loaded her luggage into the back of the car and they had hugged briefly. Nothing more needed to be said. There were no words to say. On the way back to Forks Washington, she looked out of the window and allowed a tear to slip down her cheek as she watched the grey and greenery pass her. She felt like the biggest failure and idiot to ever exist. She couldn't do anything right. She was back exactly where she started. She was back at the beginning. She didn't know why she had came back, she should have just stayed far away from this place. But she knew deep down that there was one reason she hadn't just packed everything up and moved far far away. That reason lay in the form of a beautiful tanned man named Jacob Black who she knew wanted nothing to do with her anymore. She couldn't blame him, she'd left. She'd been so convinced that Edward was what she had wanted, what she _needed _but he had clouded her visions. When she was with him everything was blurry and she was dazzled and intoxicated by him. The allure of eternal youth and beauty was so romanticized and she had been a foolish teenager who believed she was in love. She realised now that it wasn't a beautiful dream, it was actually a nightmare. Vampires were not an epitome of fairy-tales, they were not even alive. Jacob had been right all along and she had been to blind so see. They were cold and dead and they hurt living creatures in order to survive. Getting away from the supernatural and sleepy town of Forks and finally living in the real world had allowed her to see that. When she had; she'd ran. The tears started to cloud her eyes as the memories started to hit. The white hot sand, burning underneath her feet. The water, the eyes – the _pain_. Marrying Edward had been the biggest mistake of her life. She'd never wanted to marry him in the first place.

Charlie sensed that Bella was not in the mood for chit chat and didn't attempt to start any idle talk. Bella was glad Charlie didn't pry. She didn't want to have to talk about her failed teenage marriage or the fact that she didn't have the guts to go back to Phoenix with her mother. Renee had warned her countless times; she didn't need to hear it anymore. Bella unpacked her things and sat on the bed in her room. It was like she'd never left. Now that she was back, she didn't have any idea of what she was going to do with the rest of her life. That had all been mapped out with Edward but now she was fumbling for ideas. During her brief marriage they'd gone to college in New York after the disastrous honeymoon. Edward tried to appease her anyway he knew how but all he did was smother her and control every single aspect of her life. They shared the same classes, studied the exact same thing – English literature and shared an apartment together. Bella knew that this was normal of married couples but with Edward it didn't _feel _normal at all. He was with her at all times and she wasn't allowed to go out at night by herself. Edward said it wasn't safe. When he'd brought up the subject of changing her a year into college she found that she didn't really want to anymore. She didn't want to be a vampire. That dream had died long ago, as soon as they'd boarded the flight after their wedding to be honest. Edward was obviously hurt but he didn't push it. She finally reached breaking point a few months ago when Edward went away hunting. He had Alice watch over her in the house they'd bought together on the upper east side. She had planned to have a night alone to herself, to think properly for the first time in years and she had a babysitter. She was almost 23 years old and had a babysitter. She couldn't take it after that. She knew she had to leave. All of this thinking was making her head and her heart hurt. She lay down on the bed and tried to let sleep overtake her. She did not succeed.

Charlie knocked on her door gently much later. She awoke groggily and looked outside to see that it turned dark. She must have eventually fallen asleep.

'I just wanted to check on you' Charlie said a little awkwardly.

'I'm fine dad, I'll be down in a sec' she said. He nodded once and retreated out of the room. She ran her fingers through her hair and tried not to cry as she gathered her things for a shower. One downside of being home was that she was going to have to share the bathroom again with Charlie. Living life as a Cullen she had access to every luxury imaginable. Some girls might have stayed for that reason alone but in all honesty Bella really didn't care about materialistic things and copious amounts of money. What was the point of all that if you were miserable? She stayed under the hot water for a long time, trying to let it burn out all of the hurt underneath her skin. She was happy to see that her favourite strawberry shampoo was still here exactly where she remembered leaving it. Charlie really didn't change anything. It bought her a small amount of happiness. In the steamy haze she let her thoughts wander to her former best friend. It felt wrong using that word now that she knew it wasn't true. Jacob Black was a lot more than her best friend and he always had been. She just wouldn't admit it to herself. She wandered what he was up to these days. Had he finally taken over the pack as the rightful alpha? Did he finish school and have a job? Most importantly she wandered if he had a girlfriend? Maybe even a wife – his imprint… the thought made her feel sick. She cursed herself for feeling anger and jealousy. She had absolutely no right to feel this way. He had given her everything and she had just left him out in the rain and ran away to New York. He hadn't come to the wedding and she hadn't seen him for years. She started crying at the thought of him. She missed him so much. She'd written him for over a year much to Edward's displeasure but he never replied or returned her calls. He'd made it perfectly clear he didn't want anything to do with her and she couldn't blame him at all. But that didn't mean hurt any less.

She eventually made it downstairs and Charlie was in the living room watching television. He turned toward her as she came in and he cleared his throat before speaking and leaning forward slightly on his chair. He looked nervous?

'I told your mother you were here. She's so upset that you decided to come back here and not to Jacksonville.' Bella just shrugged her shoulders.

'Bella, there's also something else I wanted to tell you' he said seriously.

'I'm listening dad' she assured him.

'Well, I didn't anticipate you until tomorrow and I'd kind of already made plans. Billy is going to come up with me to watch the game. Jacob's coming too with his son, it's sort of a regular thing we do each time…'

He trailed off when he noticed that Bella had frozen. _Jacob's son?_ She'd mentally prepared herself for everything, even the possibility of an imprint but a family? He had a family? She knew he had every right to but – she couldn't breathe properly and before Charlie could say another word she was out of the house. That hole in her chest was starting to make its presence once again and she could almost feel the walls closing in.

'Bella wait a second, where are you going?' he called as he followed her outside but she shook her head.

'No dad, really I'm fine. I'm gonna go…grocery shopping. You don't have any food.' She quickly got into her truck before he could say another word and drove off. She made it 10 minutes before she had to pull up at the side of the road. She put her head in her hands and let the sobs rack her body. There was absolutely no feeling that compared to this. Leaving Edward had been a walk in the park compared to this. This pain felt like grief and she knew she shouldn't be feeling this hurt so strongly but she couldn't help it. It snaked its way around her body leaving her empty and breathless. She finally had the guts to admit to herself that she _had _came back to Forks with some small intention of finding love with Jacob again. She knew it was a shot in the dark but there had to be some hope right? No. Now, that was all over. There was no hope, nothing was left. She wanted to _die_.

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Bella did make it back to the house. After crying her heart out and indeed going grocery shopping she found the will to drag herself back home. Even if it took everything in her. She couldn't keep running away from her problems like a silly teenage girl. She wasn't 18 anymore, she had to face things head on. She would go home and she would say hi to Billy and Jacob's…family. She'd make dinner for them and try not to pretend like she had a knife stuck in her chest. This was life and sometimes it really did fucking hurt. When she pulled up and got out of the car she was relieved to find that they hadn't arrived yet. That was good, she wanted to fix her face. When she walked in Charlie tried to stop her but she turned to face him on the bottom of the stairs.

'Dad, please. Just…don't say anything. I'm fine okay? I just want you to let it go.' Her face was hard and she was resolute in her decision. Charlie sighed but nodded giving up. Bella said thank you to him and went upstairs to wipe her face and try and cover up some of the redness. Tears were spilling from the pools of her eyes as she tried to conceal the spots with makeup. She wiped them away angrily as she tried to force her cries away. She was wrong, she couldn't see him, she couldn't do this. She'd go back to Phoenix with her mother and Phil and…the sound of the door opening and noise filling the small house was enough of a shock to temporarily stop the tears and she listened intently.

'HI CHARLIE!' The excited voice of a child screamed. _That was Jacob's child. _The hurt doubled in strength inside her chest and she felt like it was going to explode out of her. She then heard a familiar chuckle. Heat flooded through her veins, she hadn't heard that laugh in so many years. It had hurt her so much when he hadn't come to the wedding but now it was almost laughable. How dare she even have the nerve to invite him? After everything she put him through and how he felt about her, she had actually expected him to come. She had been so stupid. She despised herself. She heard hushed voices then and she knew that Charlie was dropping the bombshell that she was here. She didn't want to go downstairs but she knew she had to. She couldn't hide forever. She brushed her hair a few times, although it wasn't making any improvement and descended the stairs slowly. The house grew silent as she came into view except from a tiny little boy who greeted her on the bottom of the stairs with a quizzical look. He was without a doubt the cutest child she had ever seen. He looked exactly like Jacob from the wide brown eyes all the way to his dark chin length hair.

'Hi sweetie I'm Bella, what's your name?' she asked, trying to retain the pain that threatened to explode. She couldn't ignore a child.

'My name Isaac!' he grinned and then launched himself into her arms. Bella stood frozen for a minute, not knowing what to do before hugging him tightly. He was warm and it felt comforting to have him in her arms.

'Isaac, go into the living room please' Jacob's strong deep voice broke through the house. Bella immediately let go of the child and he frowned, quickly running off. They both stared at each other for what seemed like decades but in reality it was merely minutes. He was so beautiful, there were no words to describe him. She'd missed him so much. She wanted to just cry and run into his arms begging for forgiveness. She cleared her throat and was just about to speak before Jacob turned on his heels, following his son into the living room. Whatever Bella had been expecting, it certainly hadn't been that. Shaking her head, she went to start dinner. Throughout the course of her cooking she kept replaying the moment between her and Jacob. If she could even call it a moment. He obviously still hated her and that crushed her. She didn't know what she had expected when her and Jacob's eyes met for the first time in years but it definitely hadn't been him walking away. He hadn't even muttered a single word. Stupidly, she realised that maybe she _had _been hoping for him to fall in love with her again and sparks to fly but she remembered that Jacob wasn't Edward. He was human and things were not permanent for humans like they were for vampires. Humans moved on and things changed. She tried not to let the tear slip into the lasagne she was now plating. Why did she keep crying? She hated it! She'd been into the living room to know how many there was to cook for and she'd seen that Jacob and Isaac did not have a woman with them. The thought made her somewhat happy but she didn't dare to hope. She was probably at home or something. Bella called them when dinner was done and Charlie told her they were eating in the living room. She sighed and picked up three plates. Billy rolled in to get the others and muttered a small thanks. He didn't even really look at her properly. She gave Isaac his little plate first and he grinned and said 'thank you Bella.' Despite everything she had to smile, he was so cute. She set her own down at the coffee table and then turned to Jacob to hand him his.

'I gave you extra and there's some more garlic bread I can get you if you want?' She said to him nervously. Their first words in years and she was talking to him about food. Great. She shook her head, dumbfounded.

'Thank you' he murmured quietly. He glanced up at her for a moment before taking the plate and digging in. She went to get him more bread and sat next to him as they ate. Charlie and Billy were far too absorbed in the game to notice them and Bella was so curious, about so many things. She revealed being this near to him again, it almost felt like his warmth was soaking her up. She'd never missed somebody so much. They finished quickly. Jacob ate his food like he hadn't ate in years and Isaac declared it was the 'best sanya ever!' When he finished he climbed over Jacob to Bella and settled himself in her lap, showing her his new toy car. Jacob watched them both out of the corner of his eye but he made no attempt to remove his son from her. Isaac had obviously taken a strong liking to Bella. He chatted happily to her, telling him everything about his life and she couldn't help but notice he never once mentioned his mother. He was three years old, he loved his daddy very much, he liked playing outside, the beach, stories, cars and his best friend was his cousin Jeremy (Rachel and Paul's child.) Bella listened intently and chatted back to him loving the sound of his sweet voice and his lovely little smile. He was making her feel happy and welcomed back. She'd never given much thought to children before, a life she knew was impossible with Edward but looking at Isaac made her think a little. It made her consider and wander about the possibilities. Upon this realisation she started to conclude that a lot had been impossible with Edward. The simplest of things she'd never be able to have. She literally had to die just to be with him, _change _absolutely everything about herself. She felt slightly sick thinking about him. She could picture his face in her mind, the way he'd looked when she told him she was leaving…she'd broken his heart and it still crushed her somewhat but she was so happy she was free now. _But free to do what?_ A voice echoed in her head. At one point she had everything and now she had nothing. How did her life end up this way?

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When the game finished Jacob stood up and announced it was time to leave. He'd looked on edge all evening and Bella knew he didn't want to be around her. She couldn't bear the thought of him leaving but she had absolutely no say in Jacob's life anymore. He was not the same 17 year old kid she left behind. He was a man now with a family to care for. And he'd made it pretty clear that he no longer cared for Bella. Isaac was getting sleepy and gave everybody a hug goodbye before letting Jacob lift him into his arms where he nestled into his chest and closed his eyes. Billy bid them goodbye before telling Charlie he'd see him tomorrow morning for their fishing trip. Bella saw them out to the door. She couldn't just let Jacob leave without saying anything, she knew she was in the wrong - if he'd just hear her out and let her speak to him. She reached out and hesitantly touched his shoulder. He turned around and glared at her and the look on his face scared her.

'Jacob, I'm sorry -' she started but he just cut her off abruptly.

'Save it Bella, I don't want to talk to you and I sure as hell don't want to listen to what you have to say to me. You think you can just show up here after five years, make me dinner and everything will go back to the way it was?' He was so pissed she was actually frightened. 'You left for years, married to that fucking leech without even calling me!'

'But Jacob, I did call you' she willed herself not to cry at his angry tone but they came anyway. 'I called you every single day for years and I wrote you too. As soon as I finished with Edward you were the first one I called but Billy told me to leave you alone. He said you didn't want anything to do with me anymore. You never replied to me so I believed him.'

A look of confusion crossed his features and he turned his head sideways to glare at his father in the wheelchair by his car, obliviously talking to Charlie.

'I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you' she cried. He took a deep breath and looked at her again.

'I have to go' was all he said. Bella watched as he strapped Isaac into his car seat, helped Billy in and drove off. She watched until his car was a tiny speck of dust in the midst and then raced upstairs; leaving her heart shattered on the floor.


	3. Chapter 3 - Breakfast & Tears

Chapter 2: Breakfast With a Side of Tears

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><p>Jacob didn't say a word the entire journey home. His head was still reeling from seeing and talking to Bella for the first time in five years. She was everything he remembered and more. He was so convinced that she'd been turn into an ice-cold leech, countless nightmares he'd had of her crimson eyes sinking into flesh. But no, she was still human. That lovely clean floral strawberry scent, warm rosy cheeks and a heartbeat. She was so beautiful. He didn't want to break the silence in the car as he was afraid of what might unleash. He would speak with his father as soon as he dropped him off; when he knew it was safe and he wouldn't phase in his car with Isaac in such close proximity. Jake looked in the mirror to see that Isaac had fallen asleep and his toy car had fallen to the floor. He smiled, he loved his son so much. Billy tried to make small talk about their evening to Charlie's but when he realised that Jacob was not going to respond, he gave up. Jake pulled up to the little red house in no time and reluctantly helped his father out. He wheeled himself in and Jacob followed, standing in the entry. His father turned to face him and Jacob's fists were clenched at his sides.<p>

'Why did you tell Bella I didn't want to speak to her?!' He demanded. Billy sighed, as soon as Charlie had told him about Bella's return he'd expected this. He knew it would come eventually.

'She put you through so much Jacob. She's no good for you.'

'And who do you think you are to decide who's good and who's not good enough for me?'

'I'm your father and I know what's best for you. Bella doesn't deserve you Jacob.'

'You don't know anything' he snapped. 'And where are her letters?!'

Billy looked genuinely confused as he looked at his angry son. Letters?

'What letters?'

'The ones Bella wrote to me dad' Jacob said through clenched teeth. 'You know what letters because you never gave them to me.'

'She called you Jacob but she never wrote any letters and if she did, they certainly didn't get delivered to my house. I wouldn't withhold letters from you, you can't think that of me.'

Jacob didn't know what to think. He knew his dad was been truthful. If there was one thing his people honoured, it was the importance of honesty. He knew if Billy had hid the letters from him then he would have come clean. The only other conclusion was...that fucking leech he spat in his head. He must have somehow made sure they didn't reach him. He was positively seething, all those years without contact...she had been trying to reach out to him all along. He knew his anger needed to be controlled, he would never be angry around his child.

'I'm going, I need to put Isaac to bed' Jacob declared. He shut the door on his way out and heard Billy sigh heavily.

His house was nestled cosily between green and trees, not far from Billy's and very close to Sam and Emily's. He'd built it himself, well along with the help of his brothers and it was his proudest achievement to date. He loved his home he shared with his son. Jacob had started preparing to build his house the moment Hadley told him she was pregnant. He didn't want to live with Billy forever, it was time he moved away. The house wasn't finished by the time Isaac was born and so they'd lived with Billy for quite a few months until everything was ready. To be honest, he was glad. Billy helped out during Isaac's early days and he was grateful he had the full support of his pack. Emily and his sister had been an especially great help and for that he was thankful. Looking after a baby had been so much harder then he had ever imagined but the books he'd read certainly helped him. It also helped that Isaac was a good and happy baby. He didn't cry a lot - as long as he was held and he loved Jake more than anything. Jacob's new life was so different than what it used to be. A few years before Isaac was due, Sam approached him and they had a serious conversation about the future of the pack.

'You know that Emily's pregnant now, Jacob I want you to take over as the rightful Alpha of the pack. I was only ever a temporary anyway.'

'Sam' he didn't know what to say. This was all too much. 'I have a baby due which I have to solely take care of. I can't take on this responsibility.'

'You can Jacob. You're stronger than all of us, destiny is never wrong. You need to.'

He'd mulled it over for weeks and Billy urged him. He didn't want to be leader, he liked things the way they were. But he had no choice. If he didn't take over then Paul would and no way would he let Paul have the satisfaction of telling him what to do. He did what he thought any man should, stepped up to the plate and took control of his responsibilities. He wanted to be a good influence to his son and sometimes in life you had to do things you didn't want to do. As time wore on, he found that being Alpha of the pack was much easier than being a pack member. He could dictate patrol shifts and he found he was a lot more relaxed and had more time to work and build his house. Maybe he'd pre judged and being an Alpha wasn't so bad after all. Jake had gotten a job at Forks mechanic shop when Bella had left and Quil and Embry had too, needing the money. Jake had now been promoted to assistant manager because of his excellence and reputation and he was glad he was finally making something of himself.

When he parked his car in the garage he went to the backseat to retrieve Isaac who was still asleep. He looked so cute and peaceful, Jake didn't want to wake him so he gently changed him out of his clothes into pajamas and put him to bed making sure to turn his nightlight on. He tucked his favourite toy wolf under his arm and kissed his forehead.

'Love you buddy' he whispered before exiting his room and leaving the door half open. He glanced at his watch, it was almost 11. He was too wired and wound up to sleep so there was no use in trying. He walked downstairs and flopped himself onto the couch. What happened now?

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Bella had the biggest headache ever when she woke up. She suspected it was because of all the crying and thinking she stayed up all night doing. She was completely cried out and she had no tears left. She'd had the worst sleep ever and figured it was time to get up, she couldn't get back to sleep if she tried. A thought randomly popped into her head and she wanted to be out of the house before her rational mind could beat the idea back down again. She was fed up of over thinking and over analysing everything – something she'd definitely picked up from her former lover. Sometimes, she just needed to do what she wanted to and go with the flow. Getting ready quickly and grabbing a pop tart from the cupboard she asked Charlie if Jacob still lived at Billy's house. He looked startled at her early appearance as he finished tying his laces but he answered her question.

'No, he has his own house now, nice one actually– he built it himself. It's close to Billy's, just a little further out.'

Bella nodded as she pulled on her converse, she was sure she'd be able to find it quickly enough.

'Bella, you're not going there are you?' he asked a little wearily.

'Dad, it's not really any of your business.'

Charlie was shocked at her sudden change in attitude but he was glad she wasn't crying anymore. He couldn't deal with tears.

'I'll be back for dinner' she said on her way out. She got into her ancient truck not realising how much she'd missed it before heading over to La Push. The closer she got to the reservation the more nervous she began to feel. The pop tart and juice was close to making a second appearance and she felt shaky all over. _It's just Jake it's just Jake, my Jake_ she chanted over and over to herself as she continued to drive. The problem was, he wasn't exactly her Jacob anymore. He was somebody else's. She'd just knock on the door and ask to speak to him. It would be a short visit. Things couldn't end the way they had last night, she just didn't want him to hate her anymore. The thought was unbearable. She found Jacob's house a lot easier than she thought she would have. It was about a mile out from Billy's and nestled between the trees cosily. It looked lovely and she almost started crying thinking about the beautiful little family that lived there. She parked by Jacob's car and glanced at her watch quickly. It was 7:30 am on a Sunday, she hoped she didn't wake anybody. She knew not everybody was an early riser like her and it would only make Jacob angrier if she woke him and his family up. She decided she'd try and find the key. She quietly got out of the car and looked around a little. Jacob sure did hide his keys well. The key was nestled nicely underneath a plant pot and she quietly let herself in, locking the door behind her. Bella knew that she was technically breaking in and she shouldn't be here. What on earth had she been thinking? Snapped out of her thoughts, she looked around the small tidy house and smiled gently. The couch was huge and the TV was on the wall. Toys scattered the clean carpet and she wandered into the neat little kitchen. _It could do with a little bit of a feminine touch_ she thought to herself, didn't his wife decorate? Looking more closely, she found that she couldn't see anything that even indicated a woman _lived _here. There were no women's coats on the rack, no heels, girly books or magazines. Nothing of the sort. She found it extremely odd, maybe they had broken up or something? Realising that Jacob was indeed still fast asleep she decided that the least she could do was make breakfast for him. He loved food, maybe it would help win him over a little? She could try. The cupboards and fridge were fully stocked so she just started making a little bit of everything. By the time it was well after eight, pancakes, waffles, eggs, bacon, French toast and strawberries adorned the kitchen table and she could only hope he wouldn't scream at her to get out. No, she didn't think he'd do that. Jacob wasn't like that. As she was making coffee she heard movement coming from upstairs and her heart felt like it was beating out of her chest. Like a bird was trapped inside waiting to get out. It had never raced so much in her life. Jacob came down the stairs with a confused expression on his face and Isaac followed him, holding his hand.

'Bella!' he shouted happily, running at her with full speed. She lifted him up and he hugged her tightly, extremely happy to see her. This little boy was quickly starting to become one of her favourite people.

'What are you doing here?' Jacob asked, appearing in the kitchen. He was obviously confused, but he didn't look as angry as yesterday.

'I…um…I made you guys breakfast' Bella said nervously. Jacob looked at the table and then back at her before frowning.

'How did you…' he trailed off shrugging his shoulders. He didn't really care. All he could see was the pile of food on the table.

'Wow Bella dis food all for us?' Isaac asked sweetly.

'Yeah' she smiled.

They sat down to eat and she could swear that a ghost of a smile appeared on Jacob's face as he watched his son enjoy the brilliantly prepared food. When they'd cleared everything (Jacob mostly) Jake told Isaac to go and play while he spoke to Bella. Bella was extremely scared for this conversation but she was absolutely delighted that Jacob appeared to be being civil toward her today. Maybe it was for the sake of Isaac but whatever it was, his eyes were less angry.

'Thank you for breakfast' he said to her. 'Isaac really enjoyed it.'

'Did you enjoy it?'

'Why are you here Bella?' he sighed

There were a thousand different answers she could have given him but she settled on the most simplest, the one that held the most truth.

'I miss you' was all she said. 'So much.'

'Yeah well I missed you too but you didn't care' he said angrily

'I did care. I never stopped caring, not for one second. I was so stupid Jacob, I was so young and naive and I never saw beyond Edward but as soon as I got away…Jake I made the worst decision of my life and I'm so sorry.' A tear slipped down her cheek and she hastily wiped it away.

'You're really finished with him?' he asked 'for good?'

'Jake were divorced. It's completely over. I feel _nothing _for him anymore, come to think of it I'm not even sure if what I felt was real.'

Jacob was silent for a few moments, he sipped his coffee in silence.

'I know you're happy now Jake, Isaac is wonderful and I'm sure your wife or imprint is too but I just didn't want you to hate me anymore I'… - He held up a hand to stop her and stared at her in disbelief.

'Isaac _is _great' he told her. 'He's the best thing that ever happened to me but I don't have a wife and I _certainly _don't have an imprint.' He laughed like Bella had came to the most ridiculous conclusion ever.

'But…where is Isaac's mother? Who is she?' Bella asked in confusion. There seemed to be an awful lot of confusion going on today.

Jacob sighed and finished the last of his coffee. 'A lot has changed since you ran off with your precious bloodsucker Bella' he said bitterly. _Jeez, he really wasn't ever going to let that go was he?_ 'Isaac's mom is gone…wherever the hell she went. I don't give a damn about her, all I care about is my son.'

Bella couldn't comprehend this. How could a mother just run away and leave her child? Where was she? Surely this woman would come back?

'It was a mistake Bella okay? I hooked up with a girl, she got pregnant and she didn't want the baby. I did. End of story. It's not that hard to believe.'

Bella took a deep breath. 'But you were so young…you've raised him all by yourself?'

'Yeah I have.' He didn't meet her eyes and she knew how hard it must have been for him.

She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Jacob…he didn't deserve this. He'd had to mature way before his time, when he was younger and his mother died he'd had to be a carer for Billy and now he'd been raising a baby on his own since he was a teenager. He was so good, through and through to the very core. She felt her heart shatter a little more but this time it was for Jacob's pain and not her own.

'What if she tries to take him back one day?' Bella whispered. She couldn't bare the thought of him having Isaac taken away.

'Not going to happen' he said adamantly. Of this fact Jacob seemed extremely certain. 'She signed all the papers, he's mine.'

Bella nodded but still couldn't fully comprehend how somebody would just leave their child forever. Isaac was the sweetest child she'd ever met, how could anyone not want him?

'Thanks for breakfast' Jacob said, finally breaking the silence. 'We don't often have breakfast like that.'

'It was no problem Jake honestly; it was the least I could do.'

He smiled gently at her and then quickly stood to clean up the dishes. Bella's heart fluttered just for a second before faltering again.

'I've missed you so much Jacob' she blurted out. 'I missed you every single second I was away.'

She heard him sigh but he didn't turn around from the dishwasher.

'Then why did it take you five years to come back?' he asked her

'I was doing my degree, I couldn't just up and leave. I never even wanted to go to New York…Edward made me. With him, I never really had a say' she finally confessed. In some ways it felt good letting all of these bottled up hidden secrets out. She'd never truly revealed to herself before just _how much_ she'd let Edward control her life. It was just easier to let him take charge and give into the things he wanted. He always said he was doing the best for Bella and Bella believed what he'd said. Jacob didn't answer her and for some reason that made her annoyed.

'And well… it seems like you got over me pretty quickly too Jacob. Isaac is three which means it only took you, what? Less than a year? You went…and slept with other girls!' she said, standing up from her seat.

He turned around full on and glared at her.

'How dare you!' He practically growled. 'You married somebody else. Fucking _married _Bella! Don't you dare criticize me when it was all your damn fault. If you'd just chosen me I wouldn't have ever been with anybody else at all!'

'I know!' She shouted 'I know that, _God_ don't you think I know. I said I'm sorry, what else am I supposed to do? I cant change the past Jacob, what's done is done!'

'Sorry doesn't fix things Bella!'

She couldn't stop crying. She wished she'd chosen him so much, why couldn't he see that? God, why did things have to be this way? She wanted to stay and beg and grovel but she couldn't be here anymore. He hated her. With tears falling freely down her cheeks she picked up her keys and fled from the house faster than she'd ever moved before. He didn't run after her...and she didn't want him to.

.

.

.

It was three days before she heard from Jacob. She'd spent the entire time cooped up in the house, crying and feeling sorry for herself. Charlie honestly felt bad for the girl, nothing in her life seemed to be going right for her. _It's all my fault_ she cried in her head. _Everything and everyone I touch shatters_. When she woke up on Wednesday morning there was a note beside her head and she instantly froze. There was only one person who left notes on her bed and that was Edward. Surely he wouldn't come here...he promised. She quickly snatched up the note and instantly recognized the messy scrawl. Bella breathed the biggest sigh of relief ever but then got nervous. _Jacob left me a note_ she thought. He must have put it in here when she was sleeping and she didn't have the faintest idea of what to expect. Bella quickly opened the folded paper and read.

_**My house. 9pm tonight. – Jacob.**_

_Wow, 5 words_ Bella thought. He sure knows how to be blunt and get to the point. Inside, she was screaming like a sixteen-year-old girl. He wanted her to come to his house? She almost forgot everything that had happened a few days ago and had forgiven his outburst in seconds; she couldn't wait to see him again.

Bella waited impatiently all day for 9pm to arrive. She had a bath, something she rarely did and took extra time washing her hair and shaving and everything. She got dressed in her newest jeans and a moderately pretty top and curled her hair. She was doing everything and anything to pass the time but the time she had finished all of that, it still wasn't even 2pm. She groaned as she flung herself down onto the couch. Why couldn't time just hurry up? She wondered about why Jacob wanted to see her. She didn't want him to shout at her again, she thought that they'd both done enough of that. She settled on watching television for a bit and then rereading wuthering heights for the millionth time. She spent the whole day idly waiting and was glad when Charlie came home from work.

'You seem to be in a good mood' Charlie observed. It was quite unusual for Bella to be in a good mood, her good moods generally came from a guy.

'I am' she smiled 'Jacob wants me to go to his house tonight.'

Charlie sat down and frowned when she mentioned the word _Jacob_. 'Bella, I want you to be careful.'

'What do you mean?' she asked in confusion. 'Its Jake dad, I don't need to be careful.'

'I don't mean like that Bella I mean emotionally. Do you honestly think it's wise to attempt to jump back into a relationship when you've just had a divorce?'

'I'm not attempting to do anything'

'You know how Jacob is with you Bella. He can be impulsive and you think so highly of him, he hasn't had a girlfriend for years…I just don't want you to get hurt again.'

What was he implying? That Jacob only wanted to speak to her because he was lonely for a little one on one company?

'Dad, you don't need to worry about me. I can take care of myself.' She said this angrily as she got up and went into the kitchen to get herself a drink. Charlie had soured her mood temporarily but she still couldn't shake the happiness of Jake wanting to see her again. At this point in time, she didn't care what he wanted her for. She was just glad that he did actually _want_ to speak to her again. 9pm seemed to be forever away but when it was 8:40 she grabbed her jacket and keys and headed out.

'Um, how long are you going to be?' Charlie asked

'Why dad? Do I have a curfew?' Bella said sarcastically

'Of course you don't have a curfew but' he shifted uncomfortably on one foot. 'Will you be spending the night?'

'Gosh dad, no' Bella replied, embarrassed. 'I'm not sure when I'll be home but don't wait up okay?'

He nodded but she knew he'd wait up anyway, he couldn't help it. She got to La Push a few minutes before nine and wondered if she should have been so punctual. Maybe she should have gone a little later? No, that would be rude. When she pulled up at his house she started to feel fidgety and nervous. They hadn't exactly ended on the best terms on Sunday and she wondered if he would be nice today. When Bella got out of the car Jake was already waiting at the door and she couldn't help but notice how gorgeous he looked in a t-shirt and jeans. She was so used to seeing him shirtless than she kind of forgot just how good he looked in clothes too. He motioned for her to come inside and closed the door when she was in.

'I wasn't sure if you'd come' he told her.

'Seriously?' Bella asked surprised 'why wouldn't I come?'

'Because I made you cry.'

She didn't say anything and Jake gestured her to sit down on the couch.

'Isaac's in bed, so we can talk peacefully.'

'What do you want to talk to me about Jacob?' Bella asked.

He looked into her eyes for a moment and the intensity of his gaze made Bella wonder if he could truly see into her soul. He took a deep breath before speaking.

'Everything.'

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><p>Hiya guys, thank you for all the follows but let's up it with some feedback! Did you like it? Tell me what you thought? What's gonna happen next? Review please! Luv u :-)<p> 


	4. Chapter 4 - Old Friends & Waiting Tables

Chapter 3: Old Friends and Waiting Tables

So I've got a longer chapter for you guys tonight. I really like this chapter. Thank you for the lovely feedback. Hope you enjoy.

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><p>Bella nodded once. 'Whatever you want to know Jacob, I'll tell you' she promised him.<p>

'I want to know why you left Edward' he said to her, cutting out all the crap and getting straight to the point. Bella raised her eyebrows in puzzlement.

'Jacob, I told you on Sunday. I told you the reasons why I left Edward.'

'You told me a brief account Bella' he declared insistently. 'I want the full extent, the _details_.'

She shifted away from his relentless gaze and dropped her eyes to the floor. He couldn't ask this of her, she couldn't tell him the details. They were too hard for even her to remember.

'Jake' she started.

'You promised' he reminded her

'I know, but it was so bad Jake'

'I need to know Bella. I need to know if you came back for me.'

'The further I was away from you, the more I missed you. Of course I came back for you. I thought about you every single waking day Jacob. I realised that it was you I should have chosen, you I needed, you I _wanted_. Edward- he wasn't everything I thought he was.' She still hadn't looked at him and thinking about Edward bought up those memories again. Hard and fast.

'_We don't have to do this Bella'_

'_I want this Edward, I want you, I love you so much - please'_

_The way he looked at her made her feel like the only person on the planet and the sunshine reflected off his heavenly marble skin. He shined like diamonds._

'_So beautiful Bella' he murmured in his velvety voice against the hollow of her throat. This is what heaven must feel like she thought. He kissed her – so softly on the lips and for a moment she wished that he didn't have to be so gentle with her. She wanted hot burning kisses that would leave her breathless. She wanted him to love her physically like he claimed he loved her spiritually. She needed him to love her hard. With everything he had. She kissed him harder and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, moulding herself to his stone cold body. He immediately stopped kissing her and pried her hands away._

'_Bella, my love, if we are to try this than we must be careful. We must be slow and gentle. I know that you are only human but you must not let yourself be carried away by your hormones.'_

_A sharp reminder that she was 'only human.' Not his equal, too delicate, too fragile._

She closed her eyes trying to banish the memories before the worse ones could come but now that she had opened the memory lane floodgate, they were coming in waves.

'_Edward, gentle remember?' She tried to say softly but the panic was there in her voice. She wondered if he could detect it. Edward looked into her eyes and she couldn't figure out if he was looking into them or through them. The bed felt soft and warm beneath her but his body was so cold, oh so cold. And hard. She wanted heat. He moved to her throat and inhaled deeply, he left his mark all over her –_

Bella's scattered thoughts came to a halt when Jacob had stood up, silent as he moved to the window slowly.

'Jake, what are you doing?' she asked

He held his hand out to shush her and she realised that he was trying to listen out for something. Bella stayed silent and suddenly the door burst open and Jacob was there in seconds. Out of instinct she jumped but when she looked but then realised it was just Leah Clearwater.

'Hi Jacob, I just –'

'Now isn't a good time Leah' he said hurriedly but she had already barged past him and into the house. She stopped short at the site of Bella huddled on the couch and a sneer appeared across her face.

'Back already Bella, got tired of your leech lover and think you can come crawling straight back to Jake?'

'No, I just-'

'Well you can't' Leah interrupted, a nasty snarl on her face. 'He doesn't need you in his life coming to mess everything up.'

'Leah, stop it' Jacob warned, glaring at her but she ignored him.

'Did you meet Isaac? Isn't he lovely? As you can see, Jake has done a lot of moving on since you left. A lot of moving on indeed.'

Bella wasn't surprised at this reaction, she'd expected it from everybody especially Leah but that didn't mean it didn't hurt. She cast her eyes down and Jacob warned her again.

'What Jake, didn't you tell her?' she feigned innocence and widened her eyes draping her arm over his shoulder in a seductive way. She was so pretty and tall and Bella felt so inadequate standing next to her. 'Jacob did a lot while you were away Bella. I mean, I was going through such a hard time and he was so very _friendly _with me weren't you Jake?'

Her eyes lingered on him and she batted her eyelashes seductively; the implication was as clear as day. He'd had a relationship with Leah while she had been away and she was doing her best to make sure Bella knew about it. She couldn't stand here any longer, for some reason this hurt more than him being with Isaac's mother. She _knew _Leah.

'You're such a bitch' she murmured, her eyes glassing over with unshed tears. Bella picked up her purse and walked out of the open door without a backward glance. She heard Jake shout her name but she'd already gone.

.

.

.

'Why did you do that?' Jacob growled at Leah. He pushed her hand away from him and went to close his door.

'Well, she was going to find out about us sooner or later. I picked sooner.'

'There was no _us_' he said harshly 'just leave.'

'Oh Jacob you know that's not true. There was most certainly an us.'

He walked up to her, right in her face and told the truth. 'It was a drunken horrible mistake just after Bella left and I've never regretted anything more. It was a _one night stand_, what don't you understand about that?'

Hurt flashed across Leah's eyes at his statement but was soon replaced with malice and anger.

'It wouldn't have been a mistake if I'd of gotten pregnant though would it? Like with Hadley?'

'Well you getting pregnant never would have happened because you_ can't_.'

Jacob didn't realise what he had said before the hateful words had already slipped out of his mouth.

'Look, I didn't mean'-

'Bella is never going to love you' Leah said 'she'll always have him in her heart. She will _never _be yours.' With that she stormed out of the house and Jacob was left rippling with anger. He was so furious and it took everything in him not to phase right then and there. Leah was wrong; if she still loved Edward then she wouldn't be here and divorced. She had been a silly teenager. He was so pissed at Leah, he'd been about to have a serious conversation with Bella and she had gone and fucking ruined it. He went straight to his phone and tried calling her mobile but it was disconnected so he dialled Charlie's house. He answered on the third ring.

'Hello?'

'Hi Charlie, it's Jake. Is Bella there?'

'She just got in' he said gruffly

'I tried her mobile but can I speak to her?'

'She's upset right now Jake, I don't think she wants to speak to you' he said in an accusing tone. _Great_ Jacob thought. _Now Charlie hates me too._

'I know but it wasn't my fault, just let me speak to her okay?' he said a little angrily. He heard Bella in the background but he couldn't quite make out what she was saying. He heard her on the end of the speaker soon enough and he could almost _feel_ the tears through the phone.

'Jake, I'm fine I just'-

'Bella I'm sorry. Leah had no right to tell you like that, just come back and we can talk.'

'I'm kind of tired Jacob' she said sadly

'Bells, come on'

She stilled on the other end and he realised that he had just called her 'Bells' again for the first time in forever.

'I'm too tired to drive back right now Jake, can I come over tomorrow?'

'I have work tomorrow'

'Oh right' she said. 'Well, I could come by after work?' she suggested

'Yeah okay, 6ish?'

'I'll be there.'

He put down the phone and felt a little better about rearranging with Bella. Leah had been cruel to her but then again she was cruel to everybody. With nothing else to do, he decided to go to bed.

Isaac woke him up in the morning by bouncing on his stomach happily.

'Hi buddy' Jake smiled sleepily

'It's time to wakes up daddy' he grinned. Jacob lifted him above his head and started tickling him and Isaac giggled widely. He carried him downstairs and sat him at the table.

'Lucky charms or fruit loops?' Jake asked, holding up each box to him

'What Bella made'

'Well buddy, Bella isn't here so you need to pick one of these'

'Fruity' he pouted crossing his arms. Jacob chuckled and ruffled his hair playfully. After eating and getting Isaac ready he dropped him off at Forks pre-school and hugged him tightly at the door. He seemed a little upset today and didn't want Jacob to leave him.

'Hey, Bella's going to come and see us today' he told him, trying to cheer his son up 'you like her don't you?'

'Bella coming?' he asked, a big smile appearing on his face

'Yeah so you've got to go to pre-school so she can see what a big boy you are'

'Okay' he beamed. Jake kissed the top of his head and Miss Laura, aka _miss constantly hitting on Isaac's dad_ came to take his hand.

After that he went to work for the day and no matter how much he tried not to be, he was extremely excited to see Bella tonight. It was an easy day, which flew by, and by the time he picked Isaac up it was dark. He sighed to himself, he really didn't like that he had to leave Isaac at pre-school all day but what other choice did he have? Rachel had him on Wednesday's but that was it. He couldn't expect his sister to look after his son full time. He needed to work otherwise they'd have no money but he wished that things could be different.

Isaac was extremely happy to see Jacob and ran to him with Jake lifting him in his arms and spinning him around.

'Missed you daddy' he told him, snuggling into his neck.

'Missed you little man' he said kissing his hair and rubbing his back gently. 'Want to go and get Bella?'

Isaac nodded. Jacob decided that he would go to pick Bella up because it was a gentlemanly thing to do and he wanted to see her sooner. He picked her up just a little before six and she was very surprised, but happy to see him.

'Jake, I didn't expect you to come and get me' she said happily while putting on her shoes. He just smiled at her and led her to the car opening the door for her.

'HI BELLA!' Isaac greeted her cheerily

'Hi sweetie, I missed you' she smiled at him. He chatted to Bella about his day the whole ride home and when Jake parked up she went around to lift him out and they hugged. Jacob couldn't help but notice how much Isaac needed a mother and how perfectly Bella fit that role…he stopped his train of thought. They had a lot to figure out first. Isaac ran off to play when they got in and Jacob and Bella both sat down on the couch, this time a little closer to one another.

'Let's try this again' Jacob said with a small smile. She nodded and he was momentarily stunned by just how beautiful she looked in that moment.

'Tell me about why you left Edward Bells. I know that you said he was controlling but _how_?'

'He never let me do anything Jake' he reply was instant. 'I couldn't go anywhere without him and he would just say it was out of fear of my safety.'

'When did you fall out of love with him?' He asked. She cringed and bowed her head as if remembering some horrific moment and he gently placed his finger under the tip of her chin, to lift her gaze to his. 'Tell me Bella' he said softly 'he's not here anymore, you're with me. Safe.'

She took a deep breath and her eyes locked onto his, those deep chocolate brown pools had him captivated just like the very first time he saw her. Her heart raced at his hands touching her and he fought to keep back a little smirk. Jake knew he completely still had that effect on her.

'I fell out of love with him on our honeymoon, the very first night. I didn't realise then but I know with crystal clear clarity now.'

'Why did you fall out of love with him?' he wasn't sure he wanted to know the details and specifics of their honeymoon but he knew it was necessary.

'He hurt me' she said, tears brimming. Jacob froze for a second and tried to beat down the anger that was quickly rising. _He hurt her? How could he hurt her? _Then again, he always knew what a demonic bloodsucking parasite he was.

'Hurt how Bella? Physically?'

'Both. Physically and emotionally' she took a deep breath and blinked away the tears before continuing. 'He was supposed to be gentle, he started off gently with kisses…but then' a tear escaped her eye and he wiped it away for her. It didn't register to him that she was talking about sex but when it did the anger came back. Sex with a vampire? Surely this was some kind of sick joke? He could of killed her!

'Jake calm down' Bella urged 'what's wrong?'

'You slept with a vampire Bella?' he asked. No fucking wonder he hurt her physically! He was going to find that son of a bitch and rip him apart limb by limb, give him the most torturous execution.

'No, Jake. I didn't, I never slept with him, we never did anything at all actually…he bit me.'

Jacob stilled, _he bit her – then shouldn't she be a _

'No' Bella said reading him like a book. 'What little venom got in, he sucked it back out of my neck when he realised what he'd done. He apologised so much, I know it wasn't his fault he'd never hurt me on purpose but after that I realised what he was. I realised the things he was capable of and, it hurt so much' she was crying steadily now and Jacob gathered her into his arms, running his fingers through her hair. Her calming scent and fragile warm body was helping to keep his anger at bay. Just.

'He'll never hurt you again Bella' he said with a firm conviction and Bella believed him with all her heart. He pulled back to look into her eyes again and rested his forehead against her own. Their connection was like a livewire, electrifying and he lowered his lips just a fraction –

'Daddy I'm hungry' Isaac appeared holding onto a piece of Lego, a frown on his adorable face.

'He sure has good timing' Jacob murmured. Bella giggled a little and then they broke away turning to him. He ran and placed himself right between the two and Bella softly ran her fingers through his soft hair. He snuggled into her side and Jacob got up to start dinner.

'Want me to help?' she asked

'Nah, I've got it. Besides, I think Isaac wants to spend some time with you.' She smiled and started to chat to her favourite little person. She played Lego and cars with him and then he started to tell her about the den house he, Jeremy and Cleo built yesterday. Cleo was Sam and Emily's 4-year-old daughter and he thought the world of her. He started to look sad suddenly in the middle of speaking about them and Bella stroked his cheek.

'What's wrong sweetie?' she asked

'Jeremy's mommy is Aunty Rachel and Cleo Emily. I don't have a mommy.'

Bella didn't know what to say to that and he clambered into her lap. 'Will you be my mommy Bella?' he asked, his wide brown eyes innocent not realising what his pure unknowing words entailed. She kissed his forehead softly and thankfully Jacob called Isaac to come and eat at that moment.

'I didn't say anything, he just said that to me out of the blue' Bella explained knowing that Jacob had heard every word.

'Don't worry about it Bella' he sighed. 'He's being asking about that for a while even though I've explained to him it's just the two of us.' Bella looked at him awkwardly for a few seconds before he told her to sit down and eat. She was impressed, the spaghetti and meatball dish he prepared was actually really really good.

'Wow, this is good Jake I didn't know you could cook' she said, trying to diffuse the awkwardness from Isaac's request.

'I have many hidden talents' he smirked and Bella started laughing. She tilted her head sideways and just took all of his beauty in. When he reached across the table to hold her hand, she didn't object. This time, Bella knew exactly what she wanted.

.

.

.

The rest of the week went by fairly slowly. Bella would go to see Jacob and Isaac after he'd finished from work and usually she stayed for dinner. It was Monday now and Bella was online, looking for jobs. She had a degree in English literature which meant that she could teach but she didn't want to go back to Forks high school and she wasn't sure she was ready for that commitment yet. A small part time job would do for now, she couldn't keep scrounging of Charlie forever. There was an opening for a waitress at a small café in town so she went along there and got the job instantly. Turns out, not many people wanted that job. It was kinda simple and boring but it would suit Bella fine. She'd never really liked anything extravagant anyway. She started the very next day and it seemed to drag forever. Her boss, David kept smiling at her and asking how she was doing; it was starting to creep her out. She was glad when her shift ended at 2:00. She had short shifts and for that she was grateful, being around David all day was not something she looked forward to. Suddenly overcome with an idea, she pulled out her cell phone and decided to call Jake. He answered straight away.

'Bella, you okay?'

'Hi Jake, I'm sorry I disturbed you at work it's just I get off at 2:00 and I'm free now. I was wondering if I could maybe go and pick Isaac up from pre-school?'

'Yeah sure, that would be great actually' Jacob sounded really happy about that fact and said he'd phone them now to confirm it. Bella smiled all the way to the pre-school to get Isaac. When she knocked on the door and went in a pretty blonde woman greeted her.

'Um, I've come to get Isaac' Bella said.

'Yes, Jacob just phoned' she looked at Bella sourly and Bella wondered what her problem was. She went to fetch Isaac and he came running to her with the biggest smile on his face ever.

'BELLA! You come to get me?' he asked as she cradled him in her arms.

'Yeah, I came to get you. I missed you little one'

'I missed you too.'

'Do you want to go to the park and get ice cream before I take you home?'

'YAAY please!' he said excitedly. Bella was falling in love with this beautiful child. He had a blast at the park and when she brought him home he crashed out in her lap. She knew without a doubt she was forming a strong motherly attachment to Isaac as he was to her. She kissed his cheek and laid him down on the couch before going to make dinner. She was starving and figured she'd make herself useful. Jacob came home around an hour later and smiled at the warm homely scene in front of him. This was something he craved.

'Thanks for picking Isaac up early; he's usually there all day. Was he good for you?' he asked Bella, hanging his jacket up.

'Oh, he was an angel' she smiled, looking down at the sleeping child adoringly. Jacob smiled too and went to wrap Bella in his arms and inhale her scent. He bent down to kiss her forehead and then held her hand as he walked into the kitchen, following the smell of food. Bella rolled her eyes at Jacob and his love of eating. After dinner she regretfully had to go home, she was up early tomorrow for work and she wanted to shower, maybe hang out with Charlie for a bit. Jacob gave her a lingering hug at the door and it was clear neither of them wanted to let go. She looked up into his onyx eyes and was captivated by his marvel and beauty. How did she ever let him go? Without thinking, Jacob bent his head and Bella stood on her tip toes as he pressed his lips down to hers. It was a quick kiss but she still felt the fire tingling all the way down her body, just like all those years ago. They reluctantly let go and Bella headed to her truck, feeling like she was walking on air.

'Night Jake' she called out.

'Night Bells.'

.

.

.

Bella's smile never left her face the entire journey home and well into the next day too. Not even David's creepy obsession with her could wipe her smile away from kissing Jacob last night. She went out of the kitchen to take her next order and internally sighed when she saw none other than Mike Newton sitting at the table alone. She wanted a rabbit hole to swallow her up but she just grit her teeth and went over to him.

'I'll just have the regular please' he said to her without looking up from his phone.

'Well, I'm new so what's the regular?'

Mike immediately lifted his head up, recognising that voice anywhere. His gaze met with Bella's and she could feel the beady blue eyes boring into her own.

'Bella! What are you doing here?' he exclaimed in surprise

'I'm working Mike, what does it look like?'

'Oh Bella' he chuckled 'I missed you. I heard that you were back and about you and Cullen. I'm sorry.'

Bella didn't want to hear about his false apologies. He looked anything _but _sorry.

'Mike? Your order?' she said impatiently 'I have other tables.'

'Just the chocolate Frappuccino please. You know Bella; you should come and hang out with us sometime. I know how much Angela would like to see you again.'

'I don't know about that.' Bella couldn't think of anything worse than having all her old school friends prying into the failed marriage of Isabella Swan. She could just picture Jess' smug face in her mind thinking _I told you _so. No, that was her idea of hell.

'Oh come on, it will be a laugh. For old times sake?'

She thought about it for a moment. She didn't want to appear to be abnormal and she knew she needed to blend in, just for appearances.

'Can I bring somebody?' she asked

Mike nodded enthusiastically. 'Sure Bella, bring whoever you like. So Friday, movies, 6 o clock? I'll pick you up.'

'Mike it's not a date' she warned. 'I will get there myself.' He nodded and conceded and then Bella fluttered off again, feeling drained.

That evening when Bella went over to Jacob's house, Isaac was lying on Jacob's lap on the couch and he was stroking his hair gently.

'He doesn't feel very well' Jake explained. 'Think he ate too much chocolate with Jeremy today.'

'Oh, sweetie are you okay?' she asked, sitting down next to them. Jacob put his free arm around her and she snuggled into his side. Isaac shook his head and held out a little hand to Bella. She took it and rubbed soothing patterns until he fell asleep.

'There's something I need you to do for me Jake' Bella said smiling up at him.

'What?' he couldn't help but smile back at her. Her beauty was dazzling and her smile was infectious.

'Well, I kind of bumped into an old friend of mine at work. Mike Newton. He kind of persuaded me to meet up with my old friends on Friday at the theatre and I want you to come with me.'

'Hmm…Mike Newton' he pondered. 'Rings a bell. Is that marsh mellow guy?'

'Yes' Bella laughed

'I phased for the first time that night.'

'I know. So will you come?' She battered her eyelashes and Jake rolled his eyes.

'Sure sure.'

She leaned up to give him a kiss and whispered 'thank you.'

Friday came quickly enough and Jacob left Isaac with Emily. He came to pick Bella up and then they went to meet Bella's old friends. Mike Newton grinned profusely when she came into view but the smile quickly faded when he noticed Jacob a few steps behind. Angela ran to hug Bella tightly.

'Oh Bella, I missed you. Its good to have you back.'

'Well, it's good to be back' she admitted truthfully.

'Jess cancelled' she told her. Bella pretended to be disappointed but secretly she was thrilled.

'So' Mike walked up to Jacob. 'Jacob Black, the one that threatened to put me in the hospital five years ago?'

'Guess I made quite an impression' Jake answered coyly

'So what, are you her new boyfriend now or something?' Mike asked. Bella quickly hurried over and grabbed hold of Jacob's hand. She glared at Mike.

'Stop interrogating Jake' she warned 'lets go in.'

Jacob shot the biggest smirk ever at Mike Newton as they walked into the theatre. He felt smug and he didn't care at all. The movie was lame and Bella really wanted to go home. She'd missed a whole evening she could have spent with Jacob and Isaac for a boring movie with old friends she had nothing to say to. Angela was married to Ben now and worked as a midwife at Forks hospital; Mike was still single (unsurprisingly.) Overall it was a pretty dull evening, nobody really had anything to say to each other after the initial conversation and although Angela got Bella's number and promised to meet again, she doubted they would. On the way back to Bella's place she looked over at Jacob apologetically.

'Sorry for the crappy evening' she said.

'Well it was kind of crappy' he agreed 'but at least I got to spend it with you. Still hate that newton kid though.'

Bella laughed and when he pulled up at her house she wrapped her arms around Jacob's neck and gave him a kiss.

'I'll see you tomorrow Jake, the whole day' she grinned. He kissed her again firmer and nodded.

'See you tomorrow Bells.'

REVIEW! More reviews = quicker updates (:


	5. Chapter 5 - Dates & Declarations

Chapter 5: Dates and Declarations

Sorry for the wait but here it is! I want to say a big thanks to Aurora Marie Williams who helped me with this chapter and beta'd it for me :) I hope you enjoy this next chapter as much as I did and tell me what you think in a review! - _elizabeth_

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><p>Bella woke up on Saturday morning feeling refreshed, happy, and full of life. She was going to spend the whole day with Jacob and Isaac, and she felt optimistic about today. She knew that she was falling for Jacob, hard and fast. She was completely in love with him and now that she knew, it was hard to believe she had ever loved anybody else besides him.<p>

Namely Edward Cullen.

The feelings that Jacob ignited within her left her feeling hazy and breathless. There was a burning passion, even in simple light kisses between the two of them. There was no hesitation, no caution. It was just the two of them with no third barrier preventing things. With Jacob, everything was ablaze. She loved him even when he was mad at her, even when he didn't want to speak to her. She knew she'd love him forever and always, no matter what. Bella jumped out of bed and showered and dressed extremely fast, although she did leave ample time to brush out her hair and apply some light makeup. She'd grown out of her lazy uncaring phase she suspected, and now actually did take a little bit of pride in what she wore and how she looked. Not to the extent of Alice and Rosalie Cullen, but still. Bella arrived at Jacob's house by nine o'clock. When she knocked the door, he opened it with a big smile on his face.

"Bells," he said by way of greeting.

"Hi, Jake."

They hugged each other briefly at the door before Jacob let her in and shut the door behind her. Isaac was playing happily on the floor, while Jake's house was in major disarray.

"Wild night?'" she teased, looking around

"Isaac had a little bit of a tantrum last night when Jeremy had to go home," he said wearily.

Bella noticed how worn out and tired he looked close up. His eyes were heavy with exhaustion, dark circles under his eyes illuminating his irises. Bella crossed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"How about you go take a shower, and I'll make you some food and clean up house a little bit?" she suggested, lightly running her right hand across his chiseled abs.

"I can't ask you to do-"

She cut him off with a chaste kiss on his shoulder. "You didn't _ask _me to do anything. I made a suggestion. It's now an order, Mr. Alpha."

The young woman felt the tension in Jake's torso expel. He released his hold on her slight arms, bringing her around to face him. Bella had a no-nonsense expression on her face. His lips puckered up into a smile, and he bent down to give her a quick kiss before disappearing up the stairs.

She cleaned up relatively quickly and even started some of his laundry. The house looked brand new by the time Bella was finished, and she made Isaac sit on the couch and watch a movie while she cleaned. He pouted but still did what he was told. She rewarded him with blueberries pancakes much to his delight. Jacob came down in the middle of Bella making food and she heard an appreciative grunt as he looked around his house.

"Thanks, Bella," he said sweetly, kissing behind her ear slowly. "I really needed you this morning. Sometimes it's hard to cope by myself."

"I will always be here Jake, for as long as you want me to be," she promised, looking up at him into his beautiful dark eyes.

He kissed her lips lovingly, claiming them with his own, and she sighed into his mouth. Kissing Jacob always left her feeling as if on a high, like she was floating and her mind went blank for those few short moments. All she saw was Jacob… and stars. He made her dizzy on love. Like anything was possible.

"Bella," he whispered against her lips. "I want to ask you something."

She was all ears now as she listened to the deep reverberations of his husky voice. "Anything."

He took a deep breath before brushing her hair behind her ear slowly. His touch was electrifying. Bella had to concentrate very hard on what he was saying as she felt herself practically _swooning_.

"How would you like to go on a date with me?" His voice was strong and confident, but when she looked into his eyes, they read unsure.

He still had his doubts about her. Maybe even about them. She sighed inwardly and reached up to place her hands on his cheek. What did she have to do to prove to him she wasn't going to go running off back to Edward? At this point she knew she'd do anything to reassure him that she was his, and his only.

"Jacob, of course I'll go on a date with you," she replied softly.

"I'd love nothing more."

His eyes shined with glowing pride. Bella could practically feel the happiness coming from of his skin in powerful waves and seeping into her own.

"Where are you taking me?" Her eyes danced with excitement.

Jacob chuckled and brought his hands lower on her hips, squeezing a little. It took every ounce of willpower not to let out a moan under his touch. Jacob's hands on her caused her nerves to tingle and burn like fire in the most pleasant ways possible.

"It's a surprise," he answered with wry grin.

"You know I hate surprises," she pouted.

"Oh, I know."

This time his hands traveled upwards to playfully squeeze her waist. He winked at her then turned to go and get his food. Bella longingly watched him walking away from her, admiring his broad shoulders and small hips. She still found it difficult to believe Jacob had given her a second chance. She truly didn't deserve him.

.

.

.

The trio was sitting on a couch watching a X-Men movie, and Isaac was passed out on the other couch with a blanket wrapped around him. Bella was curled into Jake's side, feeling warm and truly divine.

"Jacob... how could you forgive me so easily? I was willing to grovel and beg," she said to him seriously, with only a hint of lightheartedness.

Not that she was complaining in any sense of the word, but she was willing to do a lot more for Jacob's forgiveness. He turned to look down at her.

"I think you suffered enough, Bella. Being married to that leech would have been enough punishment."

She smacked his shoulder playfully and he smiled. "I'm serious," she said.

"Me, too. You chose wrong, Bella, but I don't blame you for that anymore. He's a vampire, all that dazzling shit had you confused." Bella smiled a little, and Jacob continued. "The important thing is that you came back for me, right?"

She nodded and snuggled back up into his chest. He ran his fingers softly through her hair and she looked up at him.

"I love you, Jake."

She didn't even have time to think about it before the words slipped out, but she couldn't find the guilt in what she'd said. She needed him to know how much she loved him, and it didn't have to be done over dinner at a fancy restaurant or on an amazing date. This was Bells and Jake. In the flesh. Pure, raw, _real_. And that's exactly what her love was for him.

"I love you, too, Bells." His reply was instantaneous. But the words didn't carry the same emotions as her previous proclamation had.

"No, Jake," she said, her eyes boring into his deeply and intently. "Like, I really, really love you... I'm _in_ love with you."

Each word was said with complete conviction and devotion. She'd never been more sure of anything in her life. The corners of Jacob's mouth tugged themselves up into the most beautiful smile at the gratifying truthfulness of her words, and Bella's heart skipped a beat.

"I do know, Bella. I'm in love with you, too. I always have been, and I always will be," he whispered in a deep voice. "I never stopped loving you."

"Neither did I," she whispered.

She could feel the weight of her unshed tears threatening to spill over at their declarations of love. Jacob quickly brought his thumb to her cheekbone to wipe away the glistening drop that fell. He brought his lips to hers, kissed her slowly, conveying the love he'd always held for her.

After a few moments he deepened the kiss, holding the back of her head with his hand as he gently traced the curve of her lips with his tongue, begging for entry. She obliged, warmth filling her entire body. She gasped when she felt the heat of his tongue exploring her, just as gentle as his lips and hands that caressed her body. He tasted like everything she'd ever dreamed of. Earth, the woods, rain... heaven. Nobody had ever kissed her like this before, and when Jacob's hand started slowly making its way down her body, she found herself breaking away for air. She rested her forehead against his own. Jacob removed his hands from her completely, his eyes showing regret and doubt.

"I'm so sorry, Bella" he said hastily.

Now she felt awful for pulling away. Bella shook her head.

"Don't be, Jake."

She grabbed his hand and pressed it to the centre of her chest so he could feel her heart beating a thousand miles a minute. "It just took me by surprise is all... It was wonderful. I love you so much, Jake."

Once again their lips met, but this time Bella crushed hers to his, demanding, _needing _to feel him. Jacob's hands hesitantly traveled up her back, then down to her waist, across her thighs... Bella could feel the longing in Jacob. He'd wanted this for so long. She couldn't believe she denied him all those years.

_Stupid girl_, she thought.

Before she knew she was laying down on the couch, staring up at the minuscule cracks in the ceiling. Jacob's body, poised on his knees and forearms, hovered mere inches above hers. And then his lips caressed her neck, kissing, sucking, biting tenderly, but hard enough to leave small marks. Bella felt Jake smile erotically against her heated skin. A small noise sounded in the back of her throat, her back arching up, but not quite enough to touch him. Bella nearly growled in frustration, but it turned to a soft moan as Jake licked along the hollow of her throat, and then made his way back up to her lips for one last kiss before pulling away. Bella knitted her eyebrows in confusion and frustration, but he just chuckled.

"Jake, why did you stop?" She said breathlessly.

"Bella we're on the couch, in my living room, with my son here fast asleep.' He bent down again to nip her earlobe and whispered seductively, "I want our first time to be amazing."

Bella blushed and brought her hand up to stroke his gorgeous, silky hair. She was captivated by his smoldering eyes, the steady rise and fall of his chest.

"Jacob, you're so beautiful," she said to him.

"I thought I was sort of beautiful," he grinned in agreement.

Bella giggled and pulled on his shoulders until his lips were back down on her own again.

.

.

.

"You've been spending a lot of time with Jacob lately," Charlie said with an accusing tone when Bella walked in at eleven o'clock that night.

She rolled her eyes as he folded his paper up and took a sip of his coffee. She was twenty-three, why was he waiting up for her?

"Dad. Seriously. Stop being nosy, and go to bed."

"I was out with Billy, actually. I wasn't waiting up for you. You didn't answer my question about Jacob."

"It wasn't a question," Bella said as she took off her coat and shoes. "It was a statement, an acknowledgment."

"Well then I'll phrase it as a question. Are you dating Jacob?"

Bella was infuriated with her prying father. Honestly, she did love him, but why was he poking into her love life? She was happy. Why couldn't he accept that?

"Yes. I am, Dad, and I've never happier, so can you just drop it now."

"Isabella," he began cautiously. "I want you to be careful."

Since when did he use her full name?

"Jacob isn't Edward, Dad," she reminded him, her tone clipped.

"You have a tendency to fall too fast and too hard into relationships. You give everything and don't make sure they give enough back."

"Jacob gives me plenty, Dad. He does more for me than a lot of people ever have. I'm going to bed. Now."

Bella walked towards the stairs, and right as she passed Charlie, his hand shot out, grabbing her forearm.

"One more thing," he said to her.

Bella turned, almost glaring at him. He went red in the face and stuttered a little on his next sentence.

"Well, Bells, I'm sure you've already noticed, but Jacob isn't exactly the best when it comes to... using... _protection_. I just... want to make sure you're safe."

Bella opened her mouth again, but then closed it with an audible snap. She was completely in shock and quite frankly, mortified. Her dad was once again giving her a sex talk. She felt eighteen all over again. She'd been married for goodness sake, and he was worried about her and Jacob being safe? He was unbelievable.

"I know, Dad. Besides, our relationship isn't like that." _Yet, _she added with a smug smile thinking about their little make out session earlier this afternoon.

Bella leaned over to kiss her Dad on the cheek before heading upstairs to get herself ready for bed.

.

.

.

She slept in the next day. Until almost noon, and when she yawned and opened her eyes, glancing over at her alarm clock, she was horrified with herself. She'd never slept this late since forever ago, and she'd missed a whole morning with Jacob. _How did she sleep so long?_ She remembered being extremely tired, so tired she fell asleep in her casual attire, and ended up having a really good deep, dreamless sleep. Maybe it was her body's way of telling her that she needed to rest. She got ready and leapt downstairs to find Charlie sitting on the couch, leaning forward slightly.

"I thought you were gonna sleep for a couple more days," he muttered, sarcasm dripping from his words.

Bella ignored him, sat on a chair and began tying the laces of her Converse.

"Jacob won't be home today, so there's no point in rushing," Charlie said rather smugly.

She did glare at him then and crossed her arms waiting for an explanation.

"It's Rachel and Paul's baby shower party today. They invited us."

Bella's eyebrows knit together. Why hadn't Jacob told her about this? Moreover why hadn't he invited her to go with him? Heck, she hadn't even known that his sister was pregnant. He hadn't even mentioned it once. She slumped back into her seat, letting the untied laces fall. She thought that everything was okay between them now. That they had a mutual trust between them.

She was hurt.

"I don't think I want to go," Bella said, swallowing the golf ball sized lump that had appeared in her throat.

"Don't be ridiculous, Bells. You're coming and that's it. Everybody is going to be there. You can't just keep isolating yourself with Jacob."

That made her feel even worse. Didn't Jacob want her around the pack, his family, his friends? Obviously not. He obviously still had doubts about her. What did she have to do to prove that she wasn't going anywhere? Get down on one knee and ask him to marry her? He probably wouldn't believe she was even being sincere.

Against her wishes, she went with Charlie anyway. The temptation and the desire to see Jake again was too much, even if he didn't want to see her. She let her dad drive the truck, and soon they had pulled up in front of Rachel and Paul's dainty house.

She couldn't really recall Rachel, they hadn't spoken much, but she definitely remembered Paul as the angry one in the pack that Jacob didn't really get along with. She felt nervous and uneasy as she stepped out into the cold air. She could hear the noises of laughter, even from outside, and she felt like an unwanted, un_needed stranger_. When her and Charlie stepped into the house, Charlie disappeared into the crowd, completely comfortable and at ease with his friends. Bella wondered if he'd be as comfortable amongst them knowing he was in the presence of giant werewolves that could rip him to shreds in five seconds. Her eyes searched the crowd, and she found him instantly. Leaning against the kitchen counter, drink in hand as he laughed at some dumb joke Paul and Embry had told. She stared at him for approximately 2.4 seconds before he caught her eye and starting making his way over to her.

"Bella!" He grinned, reaching his arms out to embrace her but she dodged him, a frown etched onto her face.

"Bella what's wrong?" he asked her

"What do you mean _what's wrong_, Jake?" she hissed quietly. "I know you still have your doubts about me, but I love you, and it hurt that you didn't invite me to your sister's party. I had to tag along with my Dad."

Jacob looked hurt and he frowned at the young woman before him. "I _did_ invite you, Bella," he said confused. "I text you last night and this morning. I'd completely forgotten about it all to be honest. Spending time with you just does that to me."

Bella suddenly felt silly for her outburst and reached into her purse, rummaging through her phone. Sure enough, two really sweet texts from Jacob were on the screen. She hadn't even thought to check her phone.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I messed up... Again."

He sighed and brought her forward for a hug. She fell into his endless warmth and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"It's okay, Bells. And I don't doubt you at all. Not anymore."

She looked up at him, and he bent down, claiming her pink, pouty lips with his own. They broke away when they heard the clearing of a throat. Bella groaned.

"What do you want, Dad?" Bella asked without even looking away from Jake.

"Nothing. Just wanted a word with your boyfriend."

"Dad, stop doing this," she said through gritted teeth. "I'm twenty-three years old."

"Charlie, quit treating her like a child," Jacob said, looking at him pointedly. "None of us are kids anymore."

"Don't tell me what to say to my daughter, Jacob," Charlie said angrily.

"Dad, stop it," Bella hissed. "You're causing a scene."

"Whatever problem you have with me, Charlie, which you obviously do, stop taking it out on Bella, and just say what you want to say," Jake snarled.

"It's only out of respect for my best friend that I never say anything Jacob, but I _will _when it comes to my daughter. You think I don't know how many girls you've been with in these past five years? I wont have you do to Bella what you did to the rest of them. She's vulnerable and impressionable."

Bella was outraged at her dad for saying these things about her. How dare he call her _vulnerable_ and _impressionable_?

Jacob rolled his eyes at Charlie. "Sure she is, Charlie, sure she is. You can think whatever you want about me, but don't say things about Bella that you don't understand."

He led Bella away, over to Rachel, and Charlie stormed off over to Billy.

"Ignore him, he'll come around. He's just being over-protective because of your divorce," Jacob whispered to her.

He kissed the top of her head, and she nodded slowly. He encouraged her to talk to his sister while he went to chat with Quil and Embry.

"Isabella Swan. The only girl to ever steal my baby brother's heart," Rachel said, acknowledging Bella's presence.

Her tone was actually very kind. Bella blushed and shrugged. Rachel hugged her briefly, and Bella looked down at her swollen belly.

"A girl or a boy?" she asked, a small smile crossing her features.

"A little girl," Rachel said giddily, unable to wipe the huge smile off her face. "I've always wanted one of each. I have Jeremy, and now I'm going to have a little princess. I'm so excited."

Bella couldn't help but smile. It was fascinating to actually see up close a pregnant woman with a real live baby growing inside her. She didn't exactly know where the urge had come from, but she knew without a doubt that she wanted that.

A baby.

With Jacob.

One day.

Rachel motioned for Bella to sit down opposite her, and Isaac ran over to hug Bella's legs. Three more little children followed behind him.

"Jeremy's mine, Cleo is Emily's, and Cole is Kim's," Rachel explained.

They were all around the same age and introduced themselves shyly to Bella. Cleo was a gorgeous little girl, and she tried to sit on Bella's lap, but Isaac beat her there.

"My Bella," he scowled at the small pouting girl.

Bella grinned as his tiny little frame clambered up onto her.

Cleo ran off to play with Claire, and Bella hugged Isaac close running her fingers through his hair. Isaac played with the bracelet on her hand Jacob made her years ago, and Bella could see Rachel observing her quietly. Probably trying to decide whether she was good enough for her little brother or not.

"He loves you you know," Rachel said, referring to Isaac. "I can just tell. He always talks about you. He calls you, "_my Bella"."_

Bella smiled down at Isaac, pleased at that, and kissed the top of his head.

"I love him, too," she whispered, and she really did.

Bella pondered over what Charlie had said about Jacob being with lots of different women. She wondered what state she had left him in when she married Edward.

_Were things really that bad for him?_

Of course she'd considered the pain Jacob would be left in, but she'd just assumed he'd find another girl to love and move on. He was only seventeen at the time; his feelings for her couldn't have been that _deep_. Now, though, she knew she'd been wrong. His feelings had been that deep, and she realized that it didn't matter what age you were. Falling in love could be permanent as it had been for Jacob.

"Was it bad?" Bella found herself asking Rachel. "When I left?"

Rachel sighed and took a sip of her drink before meeting Bella's gaze again.

"He was in denial at first," she said. "When he came back to La Push, he kept thinking that you were going to come back. That you'd call him and say you were on your way home. When he realized you weren't coming back… Things got bad."

Bella almost didn't want to hear the rest, but she had asked for it.

"He started drinking and just never coming home. He didn't hook up with a _lot_ of girls, Bella, but there were a few. Leah, then another, and then Hadley. Isaac's mom. He was actually in a relationship with her for quite a while. She had dark brown hair, chocolate eyes... I think she reminded him of you."

Bella didn't want to listen anymore, but she knew she owed it to herself, and to Jacob, to hear about what had happened when she left. She couldn't bare to think of him being in such misery at losing her. She found it made her heart hurt. Bella wished that she could go back in time and comfort him, tell him how much she loved him and that she was going to stay.

But she couldn't.

That was in the past, and they'd both moved on and reconciled now. Too many years had been wasted, they were still young. Somehow, deep in her heart she knew that everything was going to be just fine. They stayed at Rachel's until it was dark, the wolves were buzzed and the children were all asleep. In Jacob's words it had been a, "fucking great party."

When Charlie announced he was leaving, he walked over to Bella who was holding a sleeping Isaac in her arms and announced that it was time to leave.

"I'm not coming home with you tonight," she said to him, her eyes never wavering from Isaac.

"What do you mean you're not coming with me?"

"I mean I'm not coming with you, Dad."

"And where are you going to stay?"

"With Jacob, obviously," she snapped. She looked up at her dad and softened her tone a little when she saw his hurt expression.

"Dad, I know you mean well, but you've been a little too suffocating today. I am a grown adult, and I need to learn from my own mistakes. Plus, you were unnecessarily rude to Jacob, and I think you need to apologize. You don't know how much pain I caused him, too. I'll see you tomorrow." She said this with a firm conviction of clarity, and it felt surprisingly and overwhelming _good._

Already with Jacob, she was becoming a stronger, better person. There was no more hesitation or indecisiveness. She was bolder, braver, and she wouldn't let anybody walk all over her anymore. Even her father. Gone were those days.

.

.

.

Charlie was gone and Jacob made his way over to Bella holding his hand out to her. She took it immediately, and he pulled her close, running his fingers loosely through her hair.

"I understand that I have the accompany of Isabella Swan tonight," he said to her.

She nodded and blushed against the warmth of his hand now cupping her cheek.

"If that's alright with you?" she asked a little hesitantly, realizing she hadn't exactly _asked _if she could stay the night. She couldn't bare the thought of him saying no. She really couldn't face going home to Charlie and his accusing, questioning glares all night.

"Bella, you have no idea how long I've waited for you to finally spend the night with me. Of course it's alright with me."

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	6. Chapter 6 - Blue Sheets & Love

Chapter 6: Blue Sheets & Love

Chapter 6 for you lovlies! 3 u xoxox

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><p>Bella and Jacob made their way back to Jake's home and Bella offered to put Isaac to bed while Jacob made drinks for the two of them. She carried him upstairs to his bedroom, changing him carefully and tucking the covers around his little frame. She smiled as she looked around his room, toys and books strewn across the floor but clean and dust free nonetheless. Jacob really did take excellent care of his son and that put him up on a pedestal even higher than he already was in her books. She left the room quietly and made her way downstairs where Jake was sitting on the couch flicking the television on. He handed her a glass of white wine and she sipped it feeling warm and slightly giddy. The two cocktails she'd had earlier at Rachel's had been wonderful but she knew she wasn't drunk. Just happy. The wine however...she took another sip and placed it down on the coffee table. She didn't want her mind to be cloudy and fogged by the alcohol. Bella wanted to remember her very first night spent with Jacob clearly.<p>

'Lightweight' Jacob teased but he put his own glass down too. Bella smiled and shrugged.

'Anything on TV?' She asked. She could practically feel the sexual tension radiating off of the two of them. She watched as his tooth bit into his lip and his fingers as they moved over the controller. _What I'd give to be that controller._

'No. Pretty dull.' He glanced at the clock and saw that it was after midnight and turned the television off, placing the remote next to their wine glasses. He turned to face her and then stood up offering a hand for her to take.

'Bella, I want you to come to bed with me.'

She widened her eyes in surprise almost choking a little. She knew Jacob was a blunt guy but...

Jacob read the hesitation in her face and practically pulled her up into his arms. He treated her as though she weighed nothing more than a feather and to him she probably didn't. He swept the hair off her face and looked down into her eyes. _He's so gorgeous_ she thought, momentarily stunned and distracted by his stunning face and towering height. She felt like a flower, delicate and safe in his warm strong arms.

'You don't have to do anything you don't want to' he said softly, caressing her face. 'I just want you to come to bed with me.'

She nodded, unable to speak or think. He had her entranced. He took her hand and led her up the staircase switching the lights off on the way up. With realization, she noticed she hadn't been in his bedroom before and looked around wanting to remember every insignificant detail. The walls were light and the room was airy and open. His bed sheets were a deep blue and a picture of the two of them was in a gold frame on his small dresser.

'You kept this?' She asked, fingering the small picture.

'Of course I kept it Bells.' He moved to stand behind her and his arms circled around her waist sending pleasant little shocks through her body.

'I wish I'd have known you were staying' he confessed, making patterns on her hips with his fingers. 'I would have changed the sheets, bought some candles and stuff.'

Bella put down the picture and turned to face him looking up into his eyes.

'This is fine Jake, honestly it's perfect. I don't need anything...just being with you. You're all I need.'

He bent down to kiss her and lifted her as she wrapped her legs around his waist and locked her arms around his neck. His lips were hungry and longing against hers and she could feel the want, the desperation, the pure carnal need coming from within him. She wanted to give him _everything _he needed. She felt the soft bed sheets caress her back as Jacob lowered her onto the mattress and his tongue invaded her mouth, plunging hungrily. Bella heard the echo of their heavy breathing in the room and she desperately clutched and grabbed onto Jake wanting him pressed as close to her as humanly possible. She could feel his never-ending warmth, even through her fully clothed body and she realised at that moment how much she hated the need for clothes. They were such a nuisance. Seriously, why were they even invented? Jacob's mouth was unrelenting against hers and he was so strong on top of her. She surrendered herself willingly to him knowing fully well she'd give him everything. She was his. When they were both gasping for air he moved away from her soft lips leaving her in a breathless haze as he started on her jawline. Her shoulder. Her throat. The feeling of his warm mouth on her skin could only be described as exquisite and she'd never felt anything like this before. It was the sweetest torture and she couldn't think of a better way to die than all lost and tangled up in her lover's arms. Soon, Jacob's tremendous body heat became too much in addition to the jeans and hoodie she was wearing and Jacob sensed it. He withdrew and she almost cried in protest. Bella watched him pull his t shirt over his head and toss it to the floor. She sat up with him, reaching out her small hands to trace the lines on his perfectly chiseled chest. Every line, every single crevice was a golden treasure and she wanted to explore. Her fingertips danced along the broad surface of him and she couldn't help but lean in to press her mouth directly on his heart.

'God Jake, you're so beautiful' she breathed, running her tongue along one of his glorious abs and moaning at the taste of his skin. She heard him let out a small groan as she caressed every visible inch of his torso and when he couldn't stand it any longer he pushed her back on the bed. Jacob hovered over her once more and attacked her lips with his own as his expertly skilled hands trailed down to unzip and remove the hateful offending hoodie. It was tossed to the floor and his fingers now had more access to her body. She could feel him breathing hard against her mouth and she could hear with perfect clarity their hearts both racing in time with one another. Under the hoodie Bella only had a tank top on and she knew it allowed Jacob to see the swells of her breasts and the line of her curves. He dipped his head lower and pressed hot open-mouthed kisses to her collar-bone and then down further, nuzzling the top of her breasts. Jacob didn't waste any time, his intentions were perfectly clear and Bella knew he wanted her clothes off. With his teeth, he dragged down the spaghetti straps of the tank top and tossed that too. Now she was just in her black lacy bra. She thanked the heavens she'd picked nice underwear today instead of her ratty old cotton things. His head bent once more and his mouth played over the twin mounds pushing against the bra, begging to be let free. Isabella had never felt desire so potent like this before in her life. His touch sent her into liquid and the bow in her stomach contracted harshly. Her body was begging for a release from Jacob's torturous otherworldly administrations.

'Bella' he breathed against her skin. She vaguely heard him, she could only feel and at this moment she needed to feel more.

'Jacob...please.'

'Please what Bella?' He said. She registered that the sound of his voice was now coming from much lower on her body and she peeked through her closed lashes. His head was now resting on her stomach and he was peppering her belly with light kisses as his hands roamed the contours of her jean cladded hips and legs. 'Tell me what you want Bella. Do you want me to make love to you?' - kisses lower 'do you want me to just touch you?' - kisses even lower. 'I'll do whatever you want.' She squirmed underneath his teasing and rubbed her legs together in order to relieve this foreign feeling occurring that was so alien to her. She felt damp and heady and she needed him to do something about it, anything. Quicker than lightening he was back on top of her kissing her senseless. He was urgent and so was she and she could feel how much he needed her. Her bra was off in seconds and he took time to appreciate her breasts before ravishing her. She was surprised when the urge to cover herself in embarrassment never came. The way Jacob was looking down at her, the way his pupils dilated even further as he cupped her in his hands - made her feel everything _but _embarrassed. He made her feel beautiful, sexy, wanted and desirable. He made her feel loved.

'You're so perfect Bella' he murmured as his lips came down to capture one twin peak between his mouth. She didn't anticipate the reaction that uncurled from within her and she let out a long drawn out moan as she arched her back pushing into him further. He sucked hard on her hardened rosy nipples and alternated between the two, licking, kissing and even softly biting. Bella was a puddle of desperation, want and need. She'd never experienced such lust and love in her entire life.

'Jacob - please' she begged, unable to hold back anymore. The bow was getting tighter and tighter. It needed to be untied. She needed Jacob to untie her.

'Please what Bella?' She could feel him smirking against her ablaze skin. He knew exactly what he was doing to her and he was relishing in every single moment.

'Touch me' she breathed out, her hands leaning down to tangle in his silky dark hair. 'Please.'

'Where do you want me to touch you Bella?' His mouth was now swirling around her belly button and she felt like convulsing. She was running on a live wire, about to combust and Jacob was the water who needed to put her out. He knew what she needed. Why was he teasing her? She groaned and realized he must have taken pity on her because suddenly he was off the bed, kneeling at the foot of it on the floor. He pulled her to the edge and his hands came up to undo the button on top of her tight eans. They slid down her legs effortlessly and his hands burned into the untouched flesh. In the same instant he was standing up again, looking down at her and she flushed brightly.

'Don't be embarrassed Bella' he whispered, leaning down to kiss her gently, his hands finding residence in the strings of her underwear. 'You're beautiful. You're so beautiful, my perfect girl.'

The panties were off quicker than she could blink and he was back on the bed, his lips now taking up residency grazing her ear lobe.

'I'm gonna make you feel so good Bella.' His hand splayed along her abdomen just above the imaginary bow. 'This, will all go away.'

Oh, he knew about the tension in her stomach. He was so good...so experienced at this that suddenly she felt a little inadequate. She'd told him she was a virgin before but did he have any idea just how inexperienced she was? She'd never done anything before. At all. Except kiss. And that didn't count.

'Jacob, I've never done this before' she managed to get out. She turned so she could see into his eyes and his fingertips danced along her hips.

'I know you haven't Bella' he said 'trust me honey, it's fine.'

She shook her head. He didn't understand. 'Jake, I've never done anything before. At all.'

He kissed the top of her head and smoothed her hair behind her ears. Her heart was beating louder. Oh, the things that just a simple touch from him were doing for her.

'As I said before Bella, It's fine. Just trust me.' His words held a firm conviction and she nodded furiously. She placed her hand on the back of his neck and kissed him.

'I trust you more than anyone.'

He kissed her back and ran his fingers through her hair. It felt wonderful.

'Open your legs honey' he instructed. She hadn't realized before how tightly closed they were and it wasn't because she was afraid, it was just instant reaction. Years of having to repress any sexual urges had made her resistant and hesitant, scared to let go freely. With Jacob now, he was allowing her - _encouraging _her to express and explore her sexuality. It was both enthralling and terrifying at the same time. But she trusted him wholeheartedly. She had no idea what to do with her body but Jacob did. She wanted to give herself to him and let him take control. She did as she was told and let her legs fall open. He stroked her breasts softly, massaging them slowly as he placed long kisses scattered across her throat and shoulders.

'I love you Bella' he breathed as he reached her soft stomach hovering over her.

'I love you Jake' she said. She held onto his hand that was over her stomach and trembled with anticipation.

'Breathe Bella' he reminded her as his mouth moved down further. She exhaled the breath she'd been holding in and now he was at the apex of her thighs, nudging her knees apart even further.

'Jacob' she whispered

'Fuck Bella. You're gorgeous' Jake grunted. And then his hands were on her, exploring places nobody else had ever been. The reaction to him touching her most intimate area was something she'd never have dreamed.

'Oh God.' She gripped the comforter hard as he parted her and thumbed her swollen bundle of nerves. The feeling was indescribable. _How did I miss out on this all these years_ she thought. She didn't even register the need to feel embarrassed as she'd suspected she would. The intense feelings of love and pleasure were just too much. A few minutes later, while still rubbing her, his long warm fingers trailed down to her entrance. When he gently started to ease one in she gasped. Involuntarily bucking her hips up to meet his hand the moan Bella let out was long and needy.

'Does that feel good Bella?' Jacob growled, easing a second finger inside of her and pumping in and out at a moderate pace.

'Tell me' he demanded again

'Ah...I'm...ugh' was all she could manage and she twisted and squirmed. Jacob brought his hand up to rest it on her hip keeping her firmly held in place.

'Look at you. You can't even talk with what I'm doing to you' he murmured and in the same breath his mouth was on her, effectively cutting off all communication. He was right, she couldn't form a coherent sentence. She could barely _think_ let alone speak.

She had to bite down on her lip, so hard she almost drew blood to prevent the scream that wanted to erupt from within her. His tongue was hot and warm and..._God_ so good against her aching flesh. He kept up his torturous pace, alternating between slow long licks and fast moving fingers. It could have been minutes, days or hours. Time was insignificant and it was all just a blur. When his fingers curled inside her and hit that magic spot her whole world came crashing down. Blinding, unadulterated pleasure ricocheted through her body. Bella couldn't see, think, speak. The only thing she was capable of right now was _feeling._ It was truly indescribable. Convulsing, arching her back she let out a high pitched moan as the bow untied and she fell apart, breaking in the most glorious way. Jacob did not stop until her senses finally came back to her and then he crawled slowly up her body like a predator hunting its prey. She barely registered the feel of his lips on her neck or his hot breath breathing softly until moments later when her senses finally regained control fully. Bella opened her eyes lazily and she knew they were all dark and heavy lidded.

'You look so beautiful right now' Jake said into her ear, his hand making waves on her stomach. She sighed.

'Good?' He asked

'So good' she breathed and her lips curled up in a half smile.

'I'm not done with you Bella so don't you dare fall asleep.'

'Are you going to make love to me now?' She whispered. Her voice was slightly raspy from all that screaming and moaning. A direct result of Jacob's _very heavy petting_.

'Yes.'

He leaned up off Bella, kneeling over her as he shed his pants and boxers and sprang free. Her eyes widened as she took in his huge size. His body was a wonderland. Tanned, smooth...beautiful. She wondered briefly if he would fit but let those fears fly away quickly. Of course he would, Jacob knew exactly what he was doing. He was so tall, so long and lean and...it didn't take long before she was riled up again rubbing her legs together for friction. The sight of him naked, ready and waiting had her extremely turned on. She'd never wanted something more than she wanted Jacob in her life. He smirked at her obviously pleased reaction and he bent to kiss her gently.

'Do I need a condom?' He asked quietly, grazing her jaw with his teeth. She nodded, blushing just slightly and he kissed the sweet spot underneath her jawline, stroking her blush with his fingers.

'I love you so much Bella. You don't know how long I've waited for you.'

'I love you too Jacob.' And she did. More than anything. The intense feelings of love were magnifying every second his hands were on her body and right now she wanted all of him. He left briefly to grab the condom and when he came back to lie on top of her, Bella's legs automatically parted for him. He bent down to kiss her lips. They were soft and warm and filled with so much love and passion. Hers moved against his in the most slow, torturous way possible and she brought her hands up to tangle in his soft raven hair. When he lifted a leg to wrap around his waist she knew it was about to happen and he gently eased his way into her. Her mouth opened and then closed as no sound came out. She couldn't comprehend the feeling and she clutched onto his shoulders breathing heavily. There wasn't really any pain as he moved deeper, just a slight feeling of discomfort. When he was in as far as he could go he stilled, allowing her body to adjust to his glorious size. Bella could feel him kissing her throat murmuring sweet nothings to her as he stroked her hair. He told her how beautiful she was and how much he loved her and she wanted to cry. This intimacy was what she craved. To feel not only loved and cherished, but desirable, sexy and wanted were all she ever dreamed about. Jacob was giving her that and more. He made her feel special, like she was the only girl in the world.

His thrusts started slowly as he worked her body but they got faster.

Harder

Longer

Deeper

Until she was a writhing moaning needy mess, a tangle of limbs underneath his blazing aflame body.

'Jake' she cried out clutching him tightly to her. Bella wrapped her arms around his neck bringing her lips up to meet his and kissed him senseless. His tongue plundered her mouth, mirroring what his body was doing down below. She tasted every crevice of him. He was delicious. She could hear him grunting through their locked lips and the sound of Jacob being pleasured turned her on even further. She knew that he was close to visiting the same europhia he gave her earlier and she tightened her legs around his waist bringing her hips to meet each thrust.

He came, loudly. His eyes were closed in pure pleasure, his head lifted back, back slightly arched. Bella had never seen anything so beautiful in her life.

'That was the most amazing thing I've ever done in my life' Bella whispered from her position on Jacob's chest. They were basking in the aftermath of their lovemaking and Jake's hands were running delicate patterns down her skin and in her hair.

'That's nice to know. Me too' he smiled lifting her hand up to press a gentle kiss there. She ran her fingers down his chest and didn't even try to keep the grin off her face. She was way too happy. The happiest she'd felt in years.

'Can we do that again sometime?'

Jacob chuckled and Bella smiled. 'Sure sure.'

'Mmm I love you so much Jake' she purred leaning up and holding both sides of his face with her small hands.

'I adore you Isabella. You're my life.'

'Forever and ever.'

.

.

.

She woke up in the morning feeling happy, amazing, ecstatic, loved...and slightly sore. She quickly showered and dressed herself in one of Jacob's t-shirts and then went back to bed to wake him up. He stirred quietly and a smile played on his lips when he realized who he was waking up to.

'I'd love to wake up to this every single morning' he mumbled sleepily.

'That could be arranged' Bella nodded approvingly.

Isaac bounded through the room at that moment and jumped on top of Jacob's chest squealing happily. When he noticed Bella his eyes widened in excitement and surprise.

'Bella! Did you have a sleepover with daddy?' He asked innocently, his hair all tousled and messy from sleep.

Jacob smirked and sat up and Bella blushed a little remembering their very erotic sleepover last night.

'Yes, Bella stayed last night' Jacob told him.

'Will you make us breakfast?' He said to Bella.

Jacob raised an eyebrow at him. 'Isaac.'

'Sorry' Isaac pouted

Bella smiled and leaned over to lift him onto her own lap and ran her fingers through his hair. He nuzzled into her chest and she whispered in his ear. 'I'll make you breakfast.'

His smile reached all the way to his eyes and he wrapped his little arms around her. Bella had never been so glad she'd returned home. After breakfast she grudgingly decided she needed to go home and face Charlie. Rather sooner than later. Jacob and Isaac stood at the door practically begging her to stay.

'I have to go see Charlie' she laughed, rolling her eyes. Secretly she was glad for all this love and affection being thrown her way.

'Bella stay.'

She looked down at the little angel at Jacob's feet and lifted him in her arms for a tight long hug.

'I'll be back later tonight' she promised and then she turned to Jake. 'I also need to look for a job, like an actual job. This waitressing life is not for me.'

'What do you want to do?' Jacob asked taking Isaac back from Bella.

'I don't know. Teach maybe? A job in editing? I might have to go to Port Angeles. The jobs in Forks are scarce.'

'I could look around for you too?' He suggested.

She leaned in to kiss him and he bent down to claim her lips. 'That would be wonderful thank you. I'll see you tonight. I love you. Both.'

And then she was gone.

'Good afternoon Bella' Charlie said politely when she walked in.

'Hi dad.' She went to the kitchen to grab a drink and Charlie came to stand up beside her. He took a deep breath before speaking.

'I just want to tell you how sorry I am Bella' he said quietly, not quite meeting her gaze. 'You were completely right. You're twenty three years old and I shouldn't be butting in. I trust you to make the right decisions and I know that Jacob will be good for you. I'll be apologizing to him too don't worry. I...guess it's just easy to forget you're not a little girl anymore.'

Bella pulled her dad in for a hug and he was surprised. He wasn't really one for physical affection but he hugged her back anyway.

'It's okay dad and don't worry. I forgive you. I'll still always be your daughter no matter how old I get.'

'Love you Bells.'

'Love you dad.'

When she went up to her room to gather her things for Jacob's later she accidentally tripped on a coat hanger on the floor and fell. _Forever the klutz_. She shook her head at herself and then noticed shoes. Two shoes on the ground where she was, connected to legs clad in very skinny black leather pants. She gasped as she looked up.

'Alice?'


	7. Chapter 7 - Memories

Chapter 7: Memories

**A/N Yes, it's extremely late but I thank you all for having such patience. Because I'm in the process of writing of writing my own book I've started to write things that stray out of my normal preferences and comfort zone. As a sole Renesmee/Jacob and Edward/Bella fan, this is proving a difficult challenge to write. But I wanted a challenge so I see that as a good thing. I also wanted to try and explore all the different ways that twilight **_**could**_** have played out. I hope you enjoy this chapter and tell me what you think!**

* * *

><p>Bella looked up and saw Alice hovering over her. She stood immediately, in a state of confusion and bewilderment and narrowed her eyes at her former best friend.<p>

'What are you doing here Alice?' she hissed quietly through her teeth. She didn't want to alert Charlie.

'I want you to come back to Edward' she said completely unfazed. Like she had the right.

'Alice that is not for you to decide. I left him and we ended things.'

'I know that but humans break up all the time. I want you to get back together with him.' She sat down on the edge of Bella's bed even though she had no reason to sit and fiddled with the strap on her black louboutins.

'Alice you need to leave' Bella said determinedly. She tried her hardest to put on a confident voice and be intimidating but the truth was, the Cullen's unnerved her a little. Now that she knew exactly what they were all completely capable of. It had been different before, hearing about things second hand. When her own dangerous encounter had happened though everything was different. Experiencing something and hearing about something were two different things. She'd learned that the hard way. Looking at Alice now, her intense amber eyes had her remembering memories she'd tried her hardest to repress.

_Everything was black and she couldn't feel, see or hear anything anymore. Bella thought that this is what death must be like. Oddly she didn't feel panicked or scared, she felt peace and calm. Serenity. The pain…the burning searing pain was gone. Nothing could hurt her here anymore. Everything was okay. Here she was safe._

_She faded in and out of various states of conscious and at some point she realised she must still be alive because she could hear the pounding of her heart. Her senses started to come back to her – one by one. She tried to climb back into the dark place where she felt safe but she could hear his voice trying to lure her back to him._

'_Bella' he whispered 'my Bella.'_

'_No' she breathed. _

'_Bella my love. Bella I'm so sorry.' The voice was so sad, so pained. A voice that beautiful should never be in pain. She wanted to comfort it but she couldn't muster up the courage. He hurt her._

'He's in agony Bella.' Alice's voice shattered right through her reverie bringing her back to the present.

'I was in agony when he hurt me' Bella said back. Alice shouldn't be here. She needed her to go.

'You know he didn't mean it. He _never _intended to hurt you.'

'I don't care Alice. Whether he intended to or not he still hurt me. And he continued to hurt me afterwards too. He thought he was protecting me but all he was doing was suffocating me. You all were.'

_When Edward had realised he'd bitten Bella, their honeymoon had been cut short and Bella just wanted to go home. Edward tried to get her to reconsider and stay a little longer but she couldn't stay on the island anymore without reliving that moment, that biting pain every day. The island had become hot and stuffy and she felt better when they were on the private flight back to the US. _

_They didn't go back to Forks. They went straight to New York and got settled into the apartment Edward had bought for the two of them to live in. Edward was determined for things to go back to the way they were but Bella didn't think they ever could. The honeymoon was supposed to be the happiest spectacular time of a woman's life. They hadn't even made love to one another and they were married. Edward outright refused, even when Bella had suggested they try it again. They were in bed, it was a Friday night and Bella was dressed in a lacy black chemise. _

'_Please Edward' she begged but he shook his head, determined as he pulled his body away from hers and left her heavy breathing after the passionate kiss they shared._

'_No Bella.'_

'_Why?' she pleaded, trying to force the tears back into her head. She wanted to cry so badly. She needed a release so much and her husband – her own husband would not even touch her. He refused to love her physically._

'_You know why. I will not make love to you until you've been changed.' His voice was resolute and Bella knew that the conversation was futile, yet she continued anyway. She sat up and pushed her hair out of her eyes._

'_Edward please. You cannot deny me this one human experience you promised to give me. I'm your wife and you won't sleep with me. Do you know how wrong this is?'_

'_Bella' he looked her straight in the eyes, the sparkling amber blazing and alight. 'We did try. I tried. But I couldn't…I can't do it. I'm not capable.'_

'_Edward' – she started but he cut her off with his hand in the air._

'_Bella, this discussion is over. When you're changed, then I will make love to you. That is final.'_

'We just wanted to protect you Bella' Alice said in a soft voice. 'You don't know how dangerous the world can be.'

Bella rolled her eyes.

'You need to come back Bella. Please. I miss you.'

Bella could feel her anger starting to fade at her former best friend's sad confession.

'I miss you too Alice and I hope we can still see each-other from time to time but I'm not getting back together with Edward.'

'Don't you love him anymore?' Alice asked

Bella fidgeted and sighed looking down at the ground.

'He was my first love. I'll always love him…in a way. But I'm not _in love _with him anymore. I'm in love with somebody else.'

She looked up and Alice's face was a mask of pure shock and horror. But beyond that, there was a deep sadness. She opened her mouth to speak but then realised she didn't need to ask Bella the question. She already had the answer and the silence and tension filling the small room made it all painstakingly obvious.

'Jacob' Alice breathed.

'Yes.' Bella's reply was instantaneous. There was no hesitation, only clarity. She sighed and closed her eyes briefly trying to come to terms with her slowly dying friendship with Alice. She wouldn't want to be her friend anymore. She knew that but it still hurt. Any decent sister would do the same for her brother. When she opened her eyes again to explain she felt a light breeze coming from the window.

Alice was gone.

…

Bella sat at her beat up old computer trying to find jobs. She had an English literature degree and she had favoured editing. She loved books more than anything and what better job was there than sitting at a desk editing and reading her way through piles of unpublished manuscripts? The problem was, the only editor job position she could find was based at a small publishing house in Seattle. That would mean she would have to move because it would be impossible and ridiculous to even consider travelling there each day. She shut the machine off, unable to look anymore. She didn't want to have to settle for a job she didn't really want just because it was of convenience. Yet she didn't want to have to force Jacob to uproot everything. It seemed Bella was at a crossroads of sorts and she didn't want to think about this anymore. It was stressing her out.

She went downstairs sometime later and made herself a quick sandwich. Charlie wasn't here and she was grateful for the peace and quiet for a little. She sat on the couch and allowed herself to reflect on the path her life had decided to take. Truth be told, she was still a little shaken up by Alice's visit and she hated that she had inflicted pain on other people's lives. She didn't want Edward to be sad. He deserved happiness. Her phone ringing snapped her out of wallowing and she answered as soon as she saw it was Jacob.

'Jake' she breathed

'Bella, I miss you. I want you to come back.'

She giggled at the petulance in his voice. It reminded her of a whiny child complaining about something.

'I'll be over soon Jakey' she promised. 'I love you.' She did, _so much_.

'I love you too.'

And then she hung up and tapped her fingers against the phone. What now?

Charlie didn't come back for a few more hours and Bella spent the time thinking, wandering, pondering. She still hadn't decided what to do. She knew she would have to talk to Jake about the job in Seattle. And as much as she didn't want to, she was also going to have to tell him about Alice coming to her room earlier. Things would just be worse in the end if she kept it a secret and Jacob found out some other way. She didn't want to give him any reason to distrust her so she resolved to tell him as soon as she got to his house later that day.

Things didn't exactly go as planned.

When she got to Jacob's house later on in the evening he greeted her by lifting her up over his shoulder, slamming the door and practically running up the stairs with her. She squealed in delighted surprise.

'Jake, what are you doing?' she giggled

'I'm going to show you how much I missed you while you were gone'

'I was gone for a few hours Jakey.' She couldn't wipe the huge smile off her face at such an obvious display of his love and affection. _And _his horniness.

'I still missed you. Isaac just crashed out downstairs so we should get at least an hour' he promised.

Bella kissed the side of his neck. An hour had never sounded so good.

…

Isabella played Lego with Isaac while Jacob made dinner for the three of them. She flushed thinking about their time in bed together earlier and couldn't help but think how lucky she was Jacob loved and appreciated her body. He_ wanted_ to make love to her. She didn't have to ask or beg. This was how it was supposed to be. A normal healthy relationship.

'Bella are you having a sleepover again with daddy?' Isaac asked sweetly, not looking up as he concentrated on a very difficult piece. She heard Jacob chuckle from the kitchen and rolled her eyes.

'Do you want me to stay sweetie?' she said to him

Isaac nodded enthusiastically.

'I want you to have a sleepover every day!' His smile melted Bella's heart and she couldn't help but interrupt his Lego building as she lifted him into her arms and nuzzled and kissed his adorable little frame profusely. Isaac giggled and wriggled around clearly trying to get back to his Lego.

'No, I'm not letting you go' Bella whined mockingly. 'You're too cute.' He really was, he was the sweetest thing in the world. It was so obvious Jacob was his dad.

'I'm cute' he agreed, wrapping his arms around her neck.

Jacob smiled when he walked in and saw Bella and Isaac having a sweet moment together.

'Dinner's ready' he said and Isaac practically ran toward the kitchen. Bella laughed and Jacob offered a hand to pull her up from the floor. He wrapped his big strong arms around her waist and she sighed when his hands squeezed her ass.

'I love your hands on me' she confessed as she looked up into his big beautiful eyes.

'I love my hands on you too.'

Bella smiled.

'And _in _you' he added huskily.

She swatted him playfully on his shoulder and rolled her eyes.

'Pervert.'

'You love it'

She did.

Jacob really was a good cook Bella thought to herself as she swallowed the last bite of chicken parmesan. _I could get used to this _she mused. She was sure the look on her face was practically post orgasmic but only Jacob would be able to confirm that.

'Good?' Jacob asked, eyeing her from across the table

'Delicious' she winked.

He smirked.

When the dishes were cleared away and Isaac was settled watching a movie, Bella knew it was time for the inevitable. She hesitated a little, not sure how Jacob would react to a member of the Cullen coven being in town. She knew he'd be angry but he'd be even angrier if she didn't tell him soon. Especially since Alice had been in her bedroom practically begging her to take Edward back. Despite what he said, Bella knew the two of them still had their issues and Jacob still saw Edward as a threat. He'd be scared that she'd run off to him again no matter how much he said he trusted her. Bella knew that and that's why she needed to say something. She took a deep breath before she spoke.

'Jake, can you hold on a second?' He was just about to join Isaac in the living room but he stilled and turned back to face Bella. 'I need to tell you something.'

Jacob's face was immediately wary and his eyes pushed together in confusion and anticipation.

'What is it Bella?'

'Maybe you should sit down first?'

'Just tell me Bella' he said firmly. She almost rolled her eyes at his impatience.

'Alice came to see me today. She wanted me to take Edward back but before you say anything or even _think _about worrying, I want you to know that I am yours completely. I told her no and that I was in love with you and then she left I swear.' Bella's words tumbled from her mouth at lightning speed and she looked up to see how Jacob was reacting.

He was angry that was for sure. His fists were clenched by his sides and Bella prayed he had enough self-control nowadays to not phase right here right now.

'Why didn't you tell me this as soon as you walked through the door?' he finally said

_Damn. _She thought.

'You were in such a playful mood, I was going to tell you as soon as I came but then you took me to bed…look Jacob I'm telling you as soon as I could.'

He turned away from her and leaned on the doorframe. She slowly made her way over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist.

'I know you're mad but you have nothing to worry about. I love you. _Only you_' she whispered.

Eventually he lifted her up and set her on the counter, standing between her legs. His hands pressed into her hips.

'I'm not worried about me at all Bella. I'm worried you had a vampire in your room who you're not on good terms with right now.'

'Jake, Alice would never hurt me' she tried to assure him but he wasn't having any of it.

'You can't be sure of that Bella. Your trust radar knows no bounds. You can't trust them completely, they're unpredictable. If the Cullen's are popping in for unannounced visits I want you to move in here. With me. Now.'

Bella scrunched up her face at him and hopped down off the counter.

'Don't be ridiculous Jake, I'm fine' she told him.

'Bella, this isn't up for debate. I want you living here. Besides you're 23, you shouldn't still be living with your dad.'

Bella was outraged. She opened her mouth to say something but no words came out. Jacob came over to her but she pushed away from him. She was insulted.

'What do you mean this isn't up for debate? I wasn't aware that you were now in control of my life' she snapped.

'Don't be such a brat about this' Jacob glared. 'You have completely no regard for your own safety. Clearly you need somebody to make decisions for you.'

'I can make my own decisions!' she picked up her purse and darted for the front door. She got out by her truck but Jacob was already right behind her.

'This is exactly what I mean' he thundered. 'Every time you don't like what somebody is saying you throw a tantrum and run off. You're behaving worse than my three year old son.'

'And you're behaving like an arrogant controlling jerk. You're no freaking better than Edward!' she shouted at him and he took a few steps back, clearly hurt by her words. Bella was too angry to care at this moment and without looking back she was gone.

…

Jacob was not Edward. For one, he didn't come running after her when they had a fight. Neither did he beg for her forgiveness. She didn't know whether that made her angry or happy. Right now it did neither. She was just sad, she knew she'd overreacted and she missed him. Problem was, she was just too damn stubborn.

The major issue was, he had hurt her. The fact that he had asked her to move in with him out of fear and convenience instead of love was something that had really upset Bella. They hadn't even discussed living together yet and he only brought it up because he was worried for her safety. Maybe that was a symbol of love but it wasn't enough. He should have asked her in different circumstances. She checked her phone and her heart raced a bit when she saw there was one unread message.

_You promised Isaac you would stay and he's crying. So put aside whatever you're feeling for me right now and just come back. Please._

Bella sat up immediately and cursed herself. How could she do that? Jacob was right, no matter what she was feeling for him she had to put aside. She couldn't do this to Isaac. She loved that little boy so much and he was a complete innocent. He didn't deserve this. She was back in her coat and out the door quickly.

The night was cold and dark and Bella shivered as she parked and got out of the truck arriving at Jacob's. He opened straight away holding a teary eyed Isaac.

'Oh sweetie, I'm sorry. I just had to go home to get some things okay?' Bella said as she gathered him into her arms.

'I thought you gone' he cried as he wrapped his arms around her neck.

'No, I'm back now. I promised remember?' she wiped away a tear from his eye and started peppering his tiny little face with kisses.

He started to giggle as she bypassed Jacob and walked into the house with her little cutie on her hip.

'Are you gonna stop all those tears?' Bella cooed to him. She tickled under his arms when he didn't answer and he burst out laughing.

'Yes!' he squealed in delight.

Bella turned to find Jacob leaning against the doorway trying to fight the smile on his face.

'How about we get you ready for bed and we can finish watching the rest of your movie together? Yeah? Does that sound good?'

Isaac nodded enthusiastically and the tears were all gone.

After getting Isaac ready for bed, he curled up on Bella's lap with a hot chocolate and they finished off watching the rest of the movie together. She ran her fingers through his hair softly and he snuggled further into her.

'Love you Belly' he whispered

Bella's heart melted. He loved her.

'I love you too baby.'

…

'He really loves you you know' Jacob told her as they tucked Isaac into bed.

'I know' Bella nodded. 'I love him too.'

They walked back to Jacob's bedroom and Bella sat down on the bed as she slowly started to undress. She barely got her jeans off before Jacob practically launched at her and pinned her to the bed.

'Jacob what are you doing?' she said in surprise

'I'm sorry for saying what I did earlier. I didn't mean it but…Bella you don't know how much I love you and care about you. You're everything to me.' His eyes were apologetic but Bella could still detect the fear and the apprehension there. Her own eye softened in turn.

'I know. I'm sorry too for walking out; I was just hurt when you asked me to move in with you like that. It was like it was just a matter of convenience and you didn't truly want me with you.'

'Bella how could you think that?' His face was full of disbelief. 'I'm sorry that's what you thought but you know that's not true. Maybe I should think things through before I say them but I want you to live with me because I love you. It's not convenience at all.'

She looked at him seriously and he bent down to press a loving kiss to her lips.

'I want you to move in with me Isabella' he said sultrily. His fingers started to trace patterns on her lower abdomen. He placed little fluttering kisses on her neck and she sighed in contentment.

'I want you to move in with me because…' his hands trailed lower and she gasped when he slid one of them underneath her panties. He lightly bit the sensitive spot just underneath her ear and she groaned.

'Because I love you more than anything.' He pushed two fingers inside her and Bella's back arched off the bed.

'Ahh - Jacob' she groaned. She moaned his name brokenly as his fingers curled slightly brushing against that sweet spot deep within her.

'So what do you say?' he whispered in her ear again. 'Will you move in with me?'

'Yes' she whimpered. She'd have agreed to absolutely anything at that point.

'I didn't hear you' he taunted and his hand momentarily stilled. Bella almost screamed in frustration. He was teasing her, in the best way possible.

'I said yes!' she cried. 'Jacob, please.'

'Good.' He brought himself up to watch her, his dark eyes intense and smouldering. 'Now where were we?'


End file.
